Secret Of A Successful Marriage

Do you remember the man you married? Silly question? No, it isn't. Sometimes, it is really difficult to place the man you married a few years back. The person you are living with now might not even be a distant shadow of the original man. And that, for me, is the crux of the problem in married life. We don't remain same & let's be realistic, we can't. How can you expect a person to behave the same way all through his life? But sometimes, you wish so. You wish, your man shows the same eagerness to meet you that he showed few years back. You wish, he overlooks your weaknesses & talks about your strengths the same way he did before marriage. No doubt, a successful marriage requires a lot of commitment, efforts & genuine love. But more than anything else, it requires warmth & freshness to keep the marriage flame burning.

"The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life."
                                                                                                                               - Oscar Wilde

So, what are the few actions that help bring the warmth into a dull married life. First thing first, go down the memory lane & think about the time you were dating each other. Do not stop at  only thinking about these moments; share these with your spouse. Your collection of these reminiscences will serve you well to bring the freshness back in your life. The problem with most of the couples is that they have sharp memory for few bad incidents & poor memory for some wonderful moments in life. If all is not well with your married life, reverse the order to reverse the trend.

Treat your partner as your friend. Share your plans, successes & small happenings of daily life. Take time to sit together & engage in some good, light-hearted chat. Do you remember how you would long for meeting your friend after the school? Express the same desire when you return from office. You might have had a very bad day in office but carrying your pressure home will only worsen it.   

If you are married to a human being, he or she must be having a few weaknesses, accept these. There is no harm in complaining about a genuine issue but grumbling every now & then will not resolve the issue. In case you want to criticize, do it constructively. Seething silently & erupting all of a sudden will only make you a volcano that nobody desires to get close to. If you have an issue, say it gently & move on.

And lastly, remember that love is a verb, not just an emotion. Express it as frequently as possible, not only with your words but with the actions as well. Do something every day that pleases your spouse. Make a mental note of things that he or she loves. Admire even the small acts. This acts like an antidote to dislike. Changing the person is not a solution to a troubled marriage;changing the self is the only way out.