Who is closest to you? Your spouse; your parents; siblings or some friend of yours? Wrong. You are the one who is closest to you & quite often, the most ignored one. We spend much of our time dealing & controlling others. So much so that we don't get any time understanding the self. And this is the reason for most of our frustration, troubles & misunderstanding.
When we try to control others, we are dependent on the response of others. If we get a positive response, we feel the power. We feel as if we have won the person. But to control him, we have to use all our resources, methods & strategies. At times, in spite of making a lot of efforts, we fail in our endeavor & that brings negative feelings like frustration, hatred & jealousy for others. So, it is a myth that by controlling others we become powerful; on the contrary, we yield most of our power to others. Another point to be noticed is that control over others is transient in nature as it is dependent on external factors. As these external factors change, we lose the control & feel frustrated.
Control over self is more important. It is not only permanent, but also more satisfying. If it is that important, why do we look outward most of the time? The reason is we develop the understanding that the world exist outside us; people, issues, relationships all appear to exist outside. True, but that is not your world. That is the outer world & you are least concerned with it as far as your life is concerned. They exist not to be controlled but to be loved. Period.
The interesting part is that once you gain control over self, other controls look quite hollow & you don't bother about these. And all the struggle, frustration & misunderstanding give way to love & contentment.
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