To Be Yourself

Human race is the story of untold miseries, struggles & achievements. Many of the miseries were natural, did a lot of damage but we survived those. Some other miseries were brought by few despots trying to be the power to control the world externally but we overcame them as well. But the real misery that we are still trying to overcome is the misery of living a borrowed life. And it has a lot to do with the freedom of choice which Viktor Frankl called as 'the last of human freedoms' in his magnum opus 'Man's Search For Meaning' -

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:the last of human freedoms-to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." - Viktor E. Frankl.

The trouble begins when we surrender this freedom of choice to external circumstances which are transient. Our circumstances are transient but the behavior pattern that we develop once we surrender this freedom becomes an integral part of our existence & refuses to cooperate & our misery continues.

In this ever changing world, one thing has always remained constant & that is struggle for individuality. Struggle to safe guard our individuality becomes a much greater challenge than struggle for survival. We learn survival techniques much faster because we are supported in this endeavor by people close to us-our parents, our teachers, our peer group. On the contrary, we are opposed by the same group of people when we try to be ourselves. They oppose because they surrendered their freedom & individuality much earlier and behave as if they were much better-off now. They feel so because they don't have to choose what they have to be; they become what the world around them wants them to be. Now they want us to live the same fallacy & conform to their ideas. 

While we have so much of struggle, failures & miseries, we also have a lot of achievements to write home about. And most of these have been because of the people who refused to surrender their individuality; their freedom of choice. The world by opposing them made them much stronger than the adverse circumstances. They protected their 'last of human freedoms' as if their survival depended on it. They surrendered everything but their right to be themselves. They didn't only survive; they lived an abundant life. 

Pray To Please

We displease many people every day on a non-issue. In fact, we don't displease others; we displease ourselves. Man is not an island. We are connected to so many people every single moment that we can't escape getting hurt if someone is hurt by our act. Our mood is not a separate entity.  It is dependent on the atmosphere around us which in turn is created by us. So, when we displease someone, we lay foundation for a bad mood for ourselves. 
One way to pray is to concentrate on self- our dreams, our sins & our peace of mind. What if we start praying for others? How will it benefit you? It will; actually when you pray for others, you feel more contented in comparison to when you pray for yourself. You feel disengaged with self & feel connected to others. You get vicarious pleasure in their achievement & blessings. Their benefits even start influencing you & their joy uplift your mood. You become one with the world.  
Another way to pray is to give pleasure to others. Your one act that gives pleasure to one person is better than praying aloud for self. When you help others, you become one with God & that is the real purpose of praying. 
So, the next time when you go to pray, forgive everyone who hurt you & pray for him. Also apologize for every act of yours that might have offended someone. You will ensure a happy mood & a happy time ahead for yourself. 

Cost Of Happiness

If asked from variety of people about their reason of doing a particular job, the usual answer would be-"I do it to for the security of my family." And they take pride in stating this as this statement seems to put the family first. But it actually makes him & people around him a laggard in life as far as happiness is concerned. We get the whole equation wrong simply because we don't understand the question right. Life doesn't need a security cover; it needs a happiness cover. The problem with most of us is that we confuse happiness with security. We think that we are happy as long as we are secure and the tragedy is we neither understand happiness nor security.

Happiness is not a thing but a state and therefore it cannot be had in exchange of anything. All our life we keep running after money, security, financial freedom, palatial houses, luxury cars & all other toys to make ourselves & people around us happy. The paradox is while we are adding all these items to our shopping cart, someone is swapping a credit card & debiting a large amount of happiness from our happiness bank. When we bring these items home, we also get some so called freebies like greed, ego & stress. Ironically, the more secure we feel, the more security we yearn for & we are caught in a vicious cycle. 

This happens because we also misunderstand security. In the beginning we work for our basic needs but once we have it, we swiftly move to ultra-luxury items & never stop. Initially, having our basic necessities have some bearing on our happiness index, but once we reach to a certain level, hoarding these things doesn't affect our state of happiness. In fact, it takes a lot away from us & only gives us pain. What we should understand is that security is nothing but our ability to perform a particular job. As long as we are adequate to do a job we should not worry about security- financial or social. Instead of hoarding money and toys, one should hoard skills & talents. 

Remember, happiness also comes at a price & the price is your abnegation of all material pursuits. This is not to say that we don't need some basic necessities but what we don't need is mindless hoarding of luxuries at the cost of happiness. 

Don't Be Serious, Be Sincere

Do you know someone who doesn't smile much? How do you feel in his company? Now think of someone who laughs a lot; cracks a lot of jokes & remains cheerful, no matter what circumstances. What difference do you find between the two?

The basic difference between the people who struggle to laugh & who laugh a lot is of the way they live their life. I am not talking about being successful or being a failure. Success & failure are quite subjective & at times, it is difficult to know whether one is successful or a failure from the things one possesses. A person is an utter failure if he has huge wealth but doesn't know how to enjoy life. On the contrary a monk might feel quite successful with no more than clothes to show as his possession. 

Robert Frost was right on the button when he said, 
                                "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."

In fact, people who don't laugh are, in a way, insane. They may not be mentally ill but emotionally they are. They don't live their life; they only pass it. And when you pass your life, you waste it. The tragedy of life is not that we have got only one life to live; the real tragedy is not knowing how to live it. You will often hear these people complaining about others not taking their lives seriously. They think they were successful because they were serious. They mistake seriousness for sincerity. They need to be told that life is not a serious matter & needs to be taken sincerely but lightly. Laugh a bit; bunk a few classes if you are a student; play some pranks, dance in the rain & never take life too seriously or you will go insane sooner than later.

Another positive aspect of people who laugh often is that they are an open book. They don't hide anything & therefore are quite trustworthy. They don't lead a worried or hurried life as they live in the 'now' and generally don't carry the burden of today or tomorrow. Since, they are cheerful they are natural heart-warmers. Everyone likes to be in the company of such people as they radiate cheerfulness all around.  

The only treatment of an emotionally ill person is a big laugh every now & then & a sound sleep at bed time!   

       "A good laugh & a long sleep are the two best cures for anything." - Irish Proverb

Think Big Anyway

We find two kinds of people in this world- People who are ordinary, lead a struggled life, and have a limited existence & people who are extraordinary, super-achievers & lead a blessed life. What separates one category of people from another? You guessed it right- it is the thinking part that makes all the difference. But the big question is if this is such a big factor that separates super-achievers from ordinary folks, why people ignore it? The answer is simple- It is because people don't understand how big a difference this one factor makes in over-all result.

Actually the quantum of result of any endeavor is decided at the very outset by the way the whole idea is perceived. If it is conceived with a lot of optimism & with the will to succeed, it has no reason to fail. On the contrary, if the person who conceived it is not sure about its success, chances are his doubts will be proved right. Thinking success conditions our mind to plan only for success; on the contrary thinking failure directs our mind to find ways & means to fail.

It is a wrong notion that people who have high intellect & resources, generally succeed & people with limited resources lead an ordinary life. Remember, knowledge is only potential power. A very high intellect is inconsequential for success if we don't make good use of the same. We have a lot of examples when a highly intelligent man led an ordinary life & a person with ordinary or no schooling ruled over so called super-brains. What makes those ordinary looking people so extraordinary? It is their desire to succeed & their power of thinking big. They can't see failure; they only visualize success, & that too big size! While ordinary people always think of what can't be done, extra-ordinary people think in terms of how an impossible task can be converted into a possible one. Ordinary people search for impossibilities in the possible; extra-ordinary look for possibilities in the impossible.

The size of your achievement is directly proportional to the size of your dreams. You are much bigger than your thoughts. So, instead of undermining your size, you should learn to increase the size of your thoughts. Merely by increasing the size of your thoughts, you can take your success to a new level. Your today's existence is the result of your past thought; similarly, what and how big you are going to be after few years will depend upon the size of your thoughts today. Choose the size of your thoughts carefully. Don't adjust your life to your thoughts; adjust your thoughts to the life you are meant to be living- A really BIG one!  

Open Your Parcel

Man is a bundle of uncountable traits, many of which go unnoticed & unused. One of the reasons that these traits are not used is that man himself is not sure about these. A good number of our traits are developed over the years. We work on some specific traits & become master of the same & think we were born only with these traits. The fact of the matter is that we are born with innumerable traits. We develop the traits that we come to know about but a large number remains latent throughout our life.

What are the reasons that we ignore the treasure house that we are sitting on? Prime reason is that we don't trust ourselves of having certain traits. On many occasions we come to know about a trait by chance & surprise ourselves with our achievements in that field. For instance, a child may learn about his talent for direction when he guides his classmates in some play in school in the absence of the actual director. And the child goes on to become a famous director! The question to be asked is what if the original director was not absent on that day!

Another reason is that we don't test ourselves. If we believe & do a random check on varied traits, we may find a good number of these waiting to be used. We wait for the opportunity instead of making one. So, we leave some of the wonderful talents to chance & that is the reason that despite gifted with a good number of these, we get to know only about a few. 

One more reason is that we wait for others' recommendation for our talents. If someone appreciates any of our talent, we give it another go & wait for another nod from some other person. It is like getting approval from my neighbor to use my own things in my home & if he disagrees, not using these. How funny! 

It is tragic that a wonderful gift like man remains unopened throughout the life. We do a great disservice to ourselves & to mankind by not opening it. It doesn't matter whether others like the articles in the gift or not; our job is to open the parcel & use every article in it otherwise we will live a limited existence. It will be a pity if I have to return God some of the articles of the parcel telling Him," Sorry God, I could not use all of these."

Slow Down

The biggest fallout of getting caught in a rat race is that we don't know why we are running; and where. Some rats are running for the cheese, some more are running for more cheese & some are running for better quality cheese. Getting cheese becomes the be-all and end-all of our existence. When cheese moves, we also move. Our whole existence becomes cheese dependent. When we take part in a race our only motto is to compete with others. And when we do so our focus shifts to others. We start thinking in terms of others & self is lost among other rats. It is important to slow down & let others win(lose). When you slow down, you realize your purpose & every step of your life thereafter connects you to your calling. You not only enjoy the race, but also the scenery around you which is an essential part of your existence. And most importantly, you start living !

Take A Flight

Life is not a serious business. Even if you are in the worst of situations or at a very crucial juncture, take life lightly. Be sincere; don't be serious. Sincerity will have a positive impact on the outcome while seriousness will only make the situation graver. Don't curse if it starts raining during a party. Go & get drenched. You will realize that not only you start enjoying life, but also people start loving you. No one likes a serious face while everyone wants to be close to a happy soul. Don't tie yourself with a heavy burden of things which have happened or things which could have happened. These will pull you down. Instead, enjoy this moment & you will feel that you have started flying over those very things which were pulling you down. Take a flight now ! 

Good In Goodbye

People come to our lives with a purpose.  Once the purpose is met, they leave.  Important thing is that they don't come to meet their purpose. They are sent to our lives to serve our purpose. They are the part of a grand plan called life. So, people may be good or bad; they may help you or leave you in the lurch, but the purpose they serve is never a waste. They may be your close ones or you may only have a nodding acquaintance with them. But, trust me, the timing of their arrival & departure is just perfect. So, don't regret if you come across somebody who cheated you or mourn if you lose someone who was very close to you because both were the part of the same plan. They only differed in roles. Just thank God & try to find some Good in the Goodbye.

Walk Towards Your Dreams

When we start a journey, we have a destination in our mind. We encounter a lot of challenges on the way but keep walking & reach the end of our journey. But many a time, we start for one place & reach the other. Why does that happen? Do we deviate from our path? 

Remember, we think of only one destination but God has many in store for us. The basic difference between His choice & our choice is that our choice is influenced by external factors while His is in line with our dreams. When we start we think only about reaching the end of our journey while the real joy & learning is in the journey itself. When we begin we are not mature enough to think about the places that we will touch during our excursion but as we move along we see those & enjoy the beauty. Destination is not as important as the journey because destination stops you while journey makes you walk. 

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; it is the journey that matters in the end."

                                                                                                                    -Urusula Le Guin

Sometimes, a voice pushes us towards a particular direction & we turn towards it, willy-nilly. What is that direction? Who is pushing us & why? The direction you are pushed towards is the direction of your dreams & your inner voice is pushing you there. Read the signal; listen to your intuition. Your intuition is nothing but God talking to you. Don't fight; don't oppose. Just keep walking & one day you will arrive where you are needed to.

No doubt, you intend to do something in life & want to do it all cost but don't get frustrated if you don't reach there; you will reach somewhere & that somewhere is not the end of the journey; it is just the beginning. Our job is to listen to that voice, go towards the direction of our dreams & keep walking. And, don't stop even if it appears that you have reached your destination. It may be a temporary halt to take some rest & walk again. 

You Can't Grow, I can

The biggest proof of life is growth. If someone is not busy growing, he is surely busy dying. The basic difference between objects & human beings is that while objects only decay, human beings have the option of growing. We are not talking about growth in social status or financial standing but growing in mind, body & soul.
The first big area that we should concentrate upon is mind & man starts to grow naturally in this particular area from his early childhood. In fact he grows best when he is young & has not achieved much. The problem begins when he starts thinking that he has learnt enough to pass rest of his life easily & he exactly does that- he only passes his life. Another difference between a child & a grown up man is that while a child's learning is multidimensional, a man's growth is uni-dimensional. He learns only in the area of his work & cuts himself off from rest of the areas. There is nothing wrong in specializing in one particular field, but limiting oneself only to that field will limit one's achievements only to that area. 
Second important area to grow is in the body which surely doesn't mean to become stronger or to live longer. It only means to lead a healthy & disease free life as long as one lives. It is funny that to gain material pursuits we compromise with our health & to regain the same level of health that we had before the compromise, we are ready to let go of all our wealth, but in vain. Most of us settle for a diamond-studded wheel chair! Not getting time for exercise is like not getting time to get your tank filled when you know your vehicle will run out of petrol sooner than later.
"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness." - Edward Stanley
The third and the most important area to grow is soul. Surprisingly, we don't have to do anything extraordinary to achieve growth in this area. If we learn to live simply without making much efforts, we will grow. If we have to learn something, it is stillness of mind not the speed. 
"To understand the immeasurable, the mind must be extraordinarily quiet, still. 
                                                                                                                  - Jiddu Krishnamurti
The only objective of meditation is being quiet, being still & being in peace with self. Instead of pushing for life, let the life come slowly; let each moment approach you as if it were made only for you & immerse yourself into it.  
In order to live an abundant life, it is important that we channelize all our energy to grow in these areas & the rest of your life will take care of itself.

Love Moves In Circles

Love moves in circles & encompasses everything that is connected to the persons in love. This is the most precious gain from love. The existence which looks mundane to an ordinary eye, transforms into a magical world. And as the intensity of love increases, the circle in which it operates also expands. After a certain period, love becomes blind- blind to any deformity in the world or to any blemish in the person. Life turns into a beautiful song. But the opposite of this fact is equally true. Hate also changes everything around a person. A person who hates someone attracts everything which is negative, sees every act with suspicion & finds the life around him to be bitter & mean. In fact, in both the cases, the world remains the same. It is the medium that changes. The lesson to be learnt from this strange game of love & hate is that we make the world around us; not the other way round. 

No Problem

Life gives us a tough situation just to check our response to it. If you are staring at a tough problem, it is only because you are not applying the solution that it needs. You don't need to create that solution. It is already there. The question is why don't we see the idea if it is floating around the problem. It is because most of the time our mind thinks that it is not there & thus, it never sees it. The moment you start thinking that it is sitting pretty close to the problem, you see it & that is it ! Generally we grudge about the situation or regret it instead of  finding the idea & fitting it to the problem. You can't stare at the problem & wish it away. Don't get stuck in the problem; move & the only way to make progress is to implement already present ideas. Once you start finding new ideas, you will realize that there are no problems; there are only solutions.

Fighting The Real Battle

Our  whole life is nothing but a series of hard-fought battles. From an early age man is taught to fight for his right, justice & for his place in society. We fight battles with our problems, obstacles & many other external demons. We also have daily tussles in our relationship- with our spouses, children & friends. We fight our own limitations to do some unthinkable acts. And most of the time we kiss victory & feel like taking a victory lap. But we are unable do so because after every such battle, we feel conked out; we are badly bruised & hurt. We win the battle but lose a lot in bargain- our relationship, our energy & most importantly, we lose peace of mind. 

Another distinct characteristic of a battle of relationship is that both the sides are victorious but after some time both feel like losers. Their victory is short-lived & there is no joy in it. They feel like being friends again but fear that they will lose some ground in the bargain & stick to their positions whole life. They have a lot of people around them, some complementing them on their hard-fought victory, some others egging them on to get ready for another one. In spite of these people around them, they feel lonely.  

We also engage in a fierce battle with our fellow human beings. To be one-up with our neighbor, to get a better raise than our colleagues, to get a promotion much faster than others, to be the wealthiest & the most powerful man in our circle. And many of us achieve this goal.  We win the battle & possess a lot of wealth, be the power-center but lose inner peace, health & people on the way to our goal. Not a good bargain! We have a lot of wealth but live a life of utter poverty. We have people hanging around us not because we are special or loving but because they can use us in their battles. We realize that top is a lonely place but we are too tired to climb down & cry quietly. 

Instead of fighting many false battles we should gear up to fight one real battle & that is to conquer the self. The demons within us are more dangerous than the demons without. The demons of avarice, fear & hatred harm us more than the demons outside. And once we conquer these demons, we will conquer the world. The important point to note is that after this victory we will be fresher than ever, will have more friends than ever & will lead an abundant life.

Follow Your Dreams

Follow your dreams as they know the right path. The problem occurs when after some initial hiccups we tend to start distrusting our dreams. The fact is our dreams need our trust more than ever in such testing time. We may be distracted by the opinions of some skeptics and they are the real spoil-sport. They are the people who gave in easily after initial failures. They are more of 'cant be done', 'next to impossible' or 'you must be crazy' kind of people. Don't try to argue with them or don't try to convince them. Simply ignore them. But make sure you meet them once you fulfill your dream. Now you will hear, 'I knew you would do it' or 'lucky chap' kind of remarks. Strange but true. Give it a try !

Soul-searching

Everyone craves for a life full of wonders & to seek that we run everywhere & to everyone. But more often than not we feel disenchanted and come back to our own abode to find that the world that we were seeking out was within, waiting for us to return. It is sure that one day we will come back & seek asylum in the comforting confines of our soul. And then we only wonder why we failed to notice the light within & lived in darkness. 

One day, I decided to do some soul-searching & had an interesting dialogue with my soul. 

When probed why don't we see the light even though we want it badly, it answered, "My dear child, the light that is there can't be seen; it can only be felt & to feel this light one needs to have a soul that is devoid of all impurities. It has to be as fresh & pure as a newly bloomed flower."

Then I questioned, "Why didn't I notice it when I was a child? I met all the requirements to notice the light."

And it whispered into my ear,"You noticed it in your initial years. This is why it is said that a child is closest to God. But you started ignoring it soon as your vision was blinded by the external influences. And once that happened, you closed your eyes forever to ignore it & engaged in material pursuits."

But I was not to be defeated so easily. I continued pestering my soul, "But you could have talked to me. After all, you are my soul. It is your duty to guide me whenever you think I am heading towards the wrong direction."

It smiled as if to tease me, "My dear child, I was continuously talking to you as I am talking now. But my voice was muffled by the noise outside. What you call intuition was me talking to you. But you ignored that too."

"But I said my prayers regularly. Then, what is the difference between prayer & intuition?" asked I.

It answered, "You said your prayers that is why you had a strong intuition. Prayer is you talking to God & intuition is God talking to you."

"So, how am I able to listen your voice now?", questioned I.

It smiled again & replied, "Because now you understand that the real world is within you. All that you seek is within;rest all is a mirage."

And then feeling frustrated & tired, I demanded, "Why are you giving these answers now? "

It replied softly, "Because you are asking the questions now. And 'now' is all that matters. Don't regret; don't fret over what you have lost. Rejoice over what you are going to experience now."

God Within

One trait that separates human beings from animals is enthusiasm. The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek root which literally translates into 'God within'. Oxford mentions the literal meaning in word origin as 'possessed by a god, inspired.' So, an enthusiastic person has God within him. It is like a volcano, always simmering, waiting to burst & it is entirely for this reason that an enthusiastic person is never indecisive. He is always dying to take new decisions, new risks in life. The problem begins when we encounter occasional failure. Energy level dips & indecision takes place. The only way we can remove the curse of indecision is to have the blessing of enthusiasm. Like a volcano never allows the grass to grow on its peak, enthusiasm doesn't allow a person to be indecisive. 

You Only Live Once

The tragedy of life is not that we get only one life to live but that we don't know how to live that one life. For the purpose of understanding, we can divide the purpose of our life into three sections- learning, earning & yearning. If we understand these three, and try to live accordingly, one life is more than enough. 

The first step is learning; but the big question is what & how to learn. We learn what we are taught-by our parents,our peer group, our teachers & by other varied sources. Initially, we adopt this learning only as idea but when we are taught the same thing again & again & we don't question these ideas, they are converted into beliefs. And once they are converted into beliefs, they are difficult to remove. So, if we are taught a particular religion, we accept it & by & by it becomes an integral part of our existence. But if we are also taught that our religion is the best one & all other religions are sham, we would accept this too as a belief & would start practicing the same. The vital aspect of any learning is questioning, reasoning & then establishing your own beliefs. If we are taught to question our set beliefs & find the answers ourselves we would have learned in every sense of the word.

The second step of living truly is earning & we are not good at that. We learn what to earn from our needs. A child wants to earn knowledge, love, compassion & freedom. But as we grow up, we learn to earn everything that fulfills our basic needs & then earn to become financially independent. But our wants don't stop there; we crave for more- if I have a house, I need a bigger one & if I get that, I need one more & won't mind if it keeps adding. Same thinking goes for our car, for bank balance & for other materialistic pursuits. And this greed engulfs us so much that we forget we are buying these at the cost of living. Richard Bach expressed it succinctly when he said, 

                       "Shop for security over happiness, and you buy it at that price."

Earn financial independence but never at the cost of happiness, love & compassion for self & for all the people connected to you.

The third aspect is yearning; yearning for a quality life, for a peaceful coexistence, for living every moment of this life. But ironically, either we desire for the life we have lived or for another life, forgetting that while we were wishing so, another moment of this 'only one life' flitted by. We would live truly if we learn to live in 'now' not in 'years', to count moments not months.

" Butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." 

                                                                          - Rabindra Nath Tagore. 

Truer Than True

We spend major part of our life competing with others, being one-up with our fellow human beings & doing things to impress everyone. While the reality is that no one is more important than you. We live a life driven by external sources & ignore the one who holds the key to a contented life. We want a plush job, a palatial home, an extravagant lifestyle not to impress ourselves but to seek attention of others. While doing so we forget that we pay a heavy price for something that we don't need. We buy luxury at the cost of happiness, promotion at the cost of relationship & wealth at the cost of peace of mind.
We come to this world all alone but find a lot of people around us fighting among them to be the best. And we try to find the meaning of being the best but realize there is no scale to measure the best of anything. We get more confuse & struggle for answers. But when we don't get the answer, we too get involved in this rat-race. We keep running our whole life & many a time lead the race as well but we find out after many years of running that this race was not needed & will never end. We try to get out of the race but get pushed in by someone or the other & start running again. We don't stop for fear that we may be left behind or get trampled by someone. And one day we drop dead !
If only you had realized that there is no one outside you. You begin with yourself & end there. You are the world & the whole world is within you. The rest is only a mirage. The only truth is that nothing is truer than you. Competing with others is like fighting with the self & feeling a winner & a loser at the same time. All things are relevant in relation to you and not the other way round. 
We exist not to push or impress others or to compete with them, but to help & love them. The sense of competition brings negative energy while sense of togetherness attracts positive vibes. We don't become an island or limit ourselves by thinking about self. On the contrary, we expand much more. We break boundaries & connect to more people than we do when we compete with others.
You have not come here to be like someone or to be better than others. If we try to do so we go against the design of God who didn't want us all to be the same but different in all aspects.
     "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday."
                                                                                                                -Anonymous 

Give And Give

Most of the successful people are successful because of their unmatched intelligence. They are different because they think differently. Their actions defy all logic and they are ridiculed and revered because of the their out-of-the-box ideas. They have one more quality that helps them reach the pinnacle of success & it is that they all have a big heart. Their prime goal is not to be successful but to make others happy by elevating their life. They relentlessly work for the betterment of human race till their end.
Being genius is a gift of God but being generous is your return gift to God. We all are gifted in certain ways so that we shower gifts given to us by God on people who are not so gifted in that field. But instead of cooperating, we start competing. We start thinking that if we share our traits with others he might become more successful than us. This limited thinking stops us from sharing our genius with our fellow human beings & we die with that unused talent. You might have used that talent but if a vast population remains devoid of something that they would have got with little generosity, I would call it unused genius.
In fact, we are only an agent between God & other people as far as passing these gifts are concerned. Our job is not to think what will happen to our gifts but to do what we have been assigned to do. Another important point to remember is that it is an unending supply. The more you give, the more gifts will be supplied to you. If you stop the supply, further supply of gifts to you will also be stopped. 'Give & Receive' is an old principle. The new principle is 'Give & Give'. 

Dance Of Your Life

Imagine a football ground sized auditorium packed to its capacity; spectators are waiting for a much talked about dance performance with bated breath. There is nothing happening on the stage for quite some time. And when the curtains are lifted, they notice a figure limping its way to the center-stage. The child they see is nicely dressed but hardly noticeable & low in confidence. He stands there for a while with tears in his eyes and then murmur something which is barely audible to the audience. They feel pity on the child and start leaving the auditorium one by one. The child also leaves the stage after the hall has emptied. 

This is not the scene from a play or a movie. This is what happens in the lives of a large number of people. When we come to this world, our arrival is welcomed. Each one of us is expected to be a hero & we too are brimming with joy & enthusiasm. But when we see people around us who are struggling to succeed, hardly making both ends meet, whimpering & doing their daily chores grudgingly, we start thinking that the life is not to be celebrated but to be mourned. We start making all kinds of compromises; start complaining about everything & expressing our anger on this drama called life. And one day we become exactly like the child narrated above. Who is to blame for this sorry state of our life ? 

I know you know the answer ! But, why do we allow our life to drift in this direction when we know that we come to this world to dance, to celebrate, not to struggle or to get enslaved to a routine? In fact, each day is a huge opportunity to kick off your shoes and rock the stage. Don't bother if you don't know the steps. As Wayne Dyer succinctly explains, "When you dance your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step on the way." Understand the purpose of your life- It's to dance, to enjoy; not to get into a particular pattern. And as you live your life, the patterns will be set as per your choice. 

Now imagine the same boy on the stage giving the best performance of his life because he is happy & enjoying each step; and on the way enthralling the audience & spreading joy all around. He is having the dance of his life! 

Fear Vs Faith

There are two dominant forces working in this world- Fear & Faith. And both the forces can't co-exist. In fact, they antagonize each other. When someone gets bitten by the fear bug, the first symptom that shows up is loss of faith. The other symptoms may be poor self-esteem, frustration, low confidence & feeling of guilt. Ultimately, the person cuts himself from  the world & becomes a recluse. Fear engulfs his whole mental make-up & he goes into depression.

On the other hand, the person who has faith in self & God can move mountains. He does the impossible because he believes it before he sees it happening. As William Wordsworth stated, 
                                                  "Faith is a passionate intuition." 
The person who has faith has the intuition of things coming his way & he does not see a blurred image but a very clear vision. He achieves everything twice- first in his mind & then in the real world. Once he starts experiencing the magic of belief, all impossible looking things look very much possible. He sees fear in the face & challenges all his limits. Now, he does not enjoy achieving easy goals. He leaves these for the fickle-minded & relishes only the impossible looking goals. 

But the important thing is to cross the first hurdle of fear- fear of failure. One reason that many people lead an ordinary existence is that they are in the grip of this fear. They don't realize that the success lies on the other side of this fear. The moment they challenge the fear, it vanishes into thin air. Fear is like a street dog. It chases you till you run away from it but crawls back once you stand & look straight into its eye. 

The only way to shoo away this fear is to run towards it. You will gather courage, gain confidence & do the things which earlier seemed impossible. All the successful people had one trait common in them- they feared nothing & it was because they had immense faith in their abilities. You might have come across people who looked quite ordinary when you last saw them but they shocked you with their achievements when you met them after few years. There was nothing miraculous that happened in their life; they only shifted from fear mode to faith mode & because you did not see the shift, you were shocked with their achievements. Now it is your turn to shock the world. 

Learning Is An Art

Learning is not a science; it's an art. This is why it cannot be taught; it has to be learnt. Our learning comes much before we physically appear in this world. A child learns to survive in the womb of his mother. He survives many odds & ultimately arrives. In fact he survives in much tougher condition than a normal child would do in physical world. And when he arrives we wind a protective cover around him. The child acclimatizes himself quite fast in the new atmosphere. Most of the things he learns himself through trial & error method. He makes mistakes, learns & grows up.
He also learns a lot many things from his parents, peer group & teachers. But when he grows up, he hates being told. Not that he doesn't understand what we tell him but he finds the style quite didactic. And it is because he is a good observer too. He finds a lot of people around him telling a lot of things and practicing just the opposite. He is not confused; he is convinced- convinced that all the people who  are  trying to teach him are themselves confused.
So the best way to teach a child is to be like him. Don't teach him to be a perfect man. Teach him to be a perfect child. Throw challenges at him or throw him to challenges. Let him commit mistakes & learn through these. The more mistakes he commits, the more mature a person he becomes. Trust him; if he could survive those difficult months before you saw him in physical form, he will survive the rest of his life as well.
Ironically, most of the children become the same kinds of fathers that they don't want in their childhood. And the reason is not that he is forced to believe by being told some moral precepts but because he observes that behavior, day in & day out. He thinks it cool to oppose something in childhood and follow the same when he becomes a father. And he believes that this is the only way to be a nice father & the fallacy continues. 
If  we teach him to be a free man independent of the opinions of others, he would walk the right path. If he doesn't know the way, he will find out one!   

Stretch Your Mind

Our mind is the most powerful computer ever invented. It has a memory, an operating system & a key board which is used to write all our experiences- negative as well as positive. We need to give commands to our mind to produce results. But unlike computer, it has some mechanisms which make it distinct from the ordinary computers. 

First & foremost, it is never switched off; it works round the clock. Whether you are using it or not, it will continue processing the data that it is getting. It doesn't depend on anyone for the data; it collects it on its own. It gathers data from varied sources, some of the sources that you may not even recognize after a certain period. You might not have observed certain incident that took place around you, but it not only took notice of the same but also saved it to its memory. 

The other distinct feature of human mind is that it is always on auto-save mode; for every bit of experience- real or imaginary. And we can use this feature to our advantage or disadvantage depending upon how we use the experience. The experiences that are painful & demotivating can also be programmed to our advantage if we stop seeing these as negative experiences & treat the same as learning experiences. On the other hand, we can use all positive experiences to solve our problems or to motivate us in troubled time. We can make two separate files of learning experiences & positive experiences & give command to our mind to save all past & current data related to experiences in proper files.

One thing that is absolutely in your control is the interpretation of the data. How you read the data will have a lot of bearing on your future life. Mind computer needs commands to read the data & depending upon the commands given by you, it will interpret the data. Whenever faced with a challenge, your mind will automatically open the files of learning experience & positive experience. Now, it is up to you to choose the data that you want to use. The interpretation of the data will be done by you & will be used to overcome the challenge. One interesting fact is that every time you open a particular file, your computer will store your preference. And after some time it will start opening the file of your preference & rejecting the file that you don't want it to open in problem solving mechanism. If you recall negative experience, every time you are faced with a challenge, your mind will open the negative experience file & discard the other file & vice versa. So, you can either erase all negative experiences from your life by not recalling these or you can use these to your advantage by treating these as learning experiences.

The most important thing to remember is that you should not 'let' your mind work but 'make' it. Make it do certain things that it fears. Scold it if it tries to frighten you. Feed it with commands that work for you not against you. As Emerson said, 

                                       " Do the thing & you will have the power."

Swim Out To Your Ship

There are three kinds of people in this world. 
First kind of people are those who don't react when opportunity knocks their door. In fact, many a time they are not able to even recognize the opportunity. Most often than not, opportunity comes wrapped in problems & an ordinary man looks at problem only as a problem & starts looking for the solution. When any adversity strikes you, the first question you should ask is- "What is in it for me?" Yes, every opportunity, big or small, carries fruits of equal proportion to be had. Your job is to identify & welcome the opportunity. So, these people don't respond because they don't identify opportunity. Opportunity knocks their door but most of the time they are not home. They don't see the ship even when it is at shore waiting for them to board it. 
Second kind of people are the ones who identify these opportunities & respond to these. They know that opportunity will come in different forms & shapes & they are always waiting for it. They grab it with both the hands once they identify it. Not only that, they also keep themselves well prepared to make best use of all the opportunities. So, they are waiting for the ship to arrive & once it does, their  job is to board it & start their journey to success. 
But, third kind of people are those who don't wait for opportunity; they make opportunity even when it is not there. They are the real winners as they never complain about lack of opportunity. They have it in plenty & they also have the ways & means to overcome any challenge & convert it into a huge opportunity. They invite challenges if they are short of the same. Not that they become successful in all their efforts but even when they fail, they make best use of these failures. They become stronger with every failure & every failure becomes the stepping stone to their success. These kinds of people never wait for the ship to arrive;they swim out to meet it !

Love And Be Loved

Being loved by someone is a blessing. It tells you how much you are wanted despite your faults. It increases your worth in your own eyes & in the eyes of others. Many times we underestimate our own worth & try to short sell ourselves but once you are loved deeply by someone, you start realizing that you have the traits to impress others & you start exhibiting those traits. The important thing to remember is not to make any effort to be noticed but to remain happy all the time, in all circumstances. People will take notice if you are at your natural best. It gives you the strength to move forward, to think the unthinkable & achieve the un-achievable.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your sleep." - Dr. Seuss

But loving someone is a greater blessing. It makes you tolerant towards the faults of others & when you do so, you are loved in return. It needs courage to love someone with visible faults. When you love someone, you accept him or her in toto, not in parts. Many of us tend to accept only positive traits of a person, rejecting the gray areas. It is not love; it is compromise. When the husband tells his wife," I love you", he doesn't mean, "Your eyes are all right but i don't like your hair." So, why do we complain when we see some blemish in our partner? In fact, a time comes when we start focusing only on the blemish & completely ignore the traits because of which we fell in love. What if we do just the opposite- ignore all the vices & focus on the virtues. Virtues will first add & then multiply & vices will vanish into thin air. When you love someone you condone even the blunders & on the contrary, when you dislike someone, you look even at small mistakes as blunders. At times people play tennis with each other & score points by catching others doing something wrong. But, you don't score points when you are in love & therefore the result is always love all!
"You don't love someone because they are perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not." - Jodie Picoult