Monday, 1 April 2013

We Are Not Our Genders



In his bestselling book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', John Gray attributed the relationship issues between men & women to the fundamental differences in the thinking pattern of two genders. While I appreciate the monumental work that Gray did to present his views on the topic, I don't fully agree with the idea that the emotional differences between the two individuals are because of the difference of their gender. This proposition indicates towards a particular fixed mindset of either of the genders & therefore indirectly suggests that we should respond to the gender rather than to the individual.
Regardless of the gender, each individual has a certain thinking pattern which keeps changing as per the environment around him. Responding to the environment is certainly not the ideal condition. If you do so, you are designed by the conditions around you instead of designing the environment around you. You are at your best when you don't allow the conditions influence your thinking. On the contrary, you bring a paradigm shift in the general thought pattern around you by your persistent efforts. No doubt, it is a herculean task but it is worth the efforts. You can either be influenced by the people around you or you can influence them through your efforts.
I am not suggesting to be rigid in approach. What I am suggesting is that all individuals, irrespective of their gender, have particular way of thinking, reacting or responding. Study them closely as an individual; know their traits & blemishes & accept them as they are. The problem with fixed mindset is that rejection comes first & acceptance comes last. Dealing with an individual on the basis of gender is akin to considering him as an object rather than a live-wire of varied emotions. Both, men & women are from earth & we should deal with them on earth rather than going for a trip to the outer space  to solve our problems.

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