Secret Of A Happy Family

Few questions for all family members -

1) When was the last time you actively watched a cartoon serial with your kids? Actively means you discussed the characters & their funny acts.

2) When was it that you gave a surprise to your spouse? Not necessarily a big surprise in terms of size or cost but in terms of pleasant shock value. 

3) When was the last time you hugged your mother tight & said to her, "You are the best mom of the world."?

4) When was the last time you did something for your father that he always wanted you to do for him but you hated the job?

5) How many times you praise one another in a day?

6) When was the last time that you cancelled all your important appointments because your child insisted you to be with him? 

7) Do you eat together, pray together, go for a walk together or do any such activity?     (Watching TV together is the worst way to spend time together.)

The answers of the above mentioned questions will decide whether you are a happy family or not. Someone may contest the argument saying these are all bookish things and have no impact on family happiness index. He may say that I do none of these but we go for movie or for parent-teacher meeting, watch TV together for two hours daily, or we attend many parties together & we are quite happy. By doing these activities you may seem happy but your happiness is not real or is short-lived. You are happy as long as the activity is on but the moment activity is over, your happiness is gone. 

So, the question is, "What are the big things that make big difference in improving our family happiness index?" The answer is, "None." Yes, it is not the big things that make a big difference, but the small ones. Your son would have cherished the moment more when you prepared a cup of tea early morning for him during his exam than when you bought him a big gift. No doubt, he will remember the later one as well but only if it is combined with compassion & has some surprise element. He would not remember it if he insisted on it & you had no other option but to buy it for him. This is why surprise element is a big factor in improving family happiness index. This is the most important but the most ignored factor. 

Another way of improving happiness index is to create some magic moments. What is magic? It is doing something which is unexpected, pleasant to see & defies logic. Do the same with your family members & the more you do it, happier your family gets. One example of magic moment can be stopping a car by the road side all of a sudden & buying a rose bud for your daughter or for your wife to express your love for her. Remember, it has to be unexpected & pleasant. Again, value of the gift would be measured not by the cost but by the surprise element.

One more way to make a family happy is to share & communicate. It is surprising how much this small tip can shift your family life. Find some time to have a light conversation, crack a joke or tell them some inspiring story. Many a time we confuse communication with gossiping. Constructive conversation is about self while gossiping is about others.
In terms of setting priorities for life, family should always top the list. Many a time, I hear people saying I do everything for my family. It is a fallacy; an excuse to hide one's failure to give due attention to family. You don't need to sacrifice your life for your family; you only need to give them some magic moments & trust me, they will remember those moments for whole of their life & would love you no end.