Whole life people chase happiness but only few blessed souls are able to find it. And they find it at the most unexpected place- under their own feet. It is strange that we chase happiness all over the place and find it in a small corner of our big heart. Most of the people don't realize that happiness is an inside job; it is not connected to anything external. And this happens because we don't understand happiness; we mistake it for temporary pleasure that we derive from material things. Most of the time, our happiness is dependent on people, things & circumstances. All these factors are outside our control. In short, we give control of our happiness to factors not controlled by us & rue the fact that we are not happy & become what people or circumstances make us.
First step that a person should take to be happy is to stop chasing it. When you chase happiness, you look for it in the outside world. Do the opposite. Forget about getting happy; just be happy. Yes, be happy! I know it is easier said than done but I also know there is no other way to be happy. When we live our routine life, we encounter situations which give us a lot of pain, make us gloomy & hit hard. The more we try to forget these, the deeper we get into this mess. We cannot wish the bitter situation away but we can definitely move ourselves away from people or situations that make us sad. On the contrary, we think only about the people who pained us or cheated us. When someone tells us to forget the bad chapter of our life & move ahead, our response is, "Forget? Someone ruined my life & you are asking me to forget it!" The fact is he is yet not over with you or, to rephrase it more logically, you are yet not over with him. He might have gone away from you but you are still carrying him on your back. Now, you are carrying him even longer & he is getting heavier & heavier. What about him? May be he has moved on with his life or he is enjoying the ride! Whatever the case, it doesn't affect him much but your life is a virtual hell. If you can't reject the situation, accept it. And the first step of accepting any bitter situation is to forgive the person who caused the bad situation. The moment you do it, you will feel lighter as the monkey you were carrying is now off your back. Now enjoy your life and realize that you are responsible for all the happy & painful moments in your life. This one thought will give you a lot of happiness.
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance. The wise grows it under his feet."
- James Openheim
Secondly, try to understand happiness. It is not a thing but an emotion. And emotions cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen. Emotions have to be felt & spread. Sometimes, we confuse happiness with pleasure. Happiness is a long-term emotion while pleasure comes & goes. When you watch a movie, you experience whole range of emotions but you generally get over these as soon as movie ends. You know it is not for real. Similarly, the pleasure we derive from materialistic pursuits doesn't last long. On the contrary, happiness that you derive by achieving some personal goal or by spending quality time with your family is long-term & you cherish those moments whole of your life. This is the reason that life is not lived in years but in moments.
Remember, happiness is optional & it starts with you. If you are happy, the world around you becomes happy but not the other way round. So, start from self. Be happy to make others happy.
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