Listen To The Inner Voice

The sweetest voice for a person should always be his inner voice. It is this voice that guides him towards what ought to be done. It separates right from the wrong; wheat from the chaff; extraordinary from the ordinary. Listen to your intuition. If prayer is you talking to God, your intuition is God talking to you. Your inner voice works like a torch works in gloom. So, keep it on, always.

But sometimes we have two inner voices. While one is your conscience, pure & sublime, the other is its opponent which is false. It doesn't want you to follow what your real voice instructs. It wants you to do just the reverse.

So, the million dollar question is how to differentiate between the two voices. How do I know whether the voice that is speaking right now is the devil or pure conscience ? Remember, a pure voice is soft, benevolent  & forgiving. It doesn't even know the words like harm, hate or revenge. It speaks the language of love. It cries when someone is pained. Try to listen to the voice which has these characteristics.

Another way of distinguishing good conscience from the bad one is to understand the style of their suggestions. A pure voice has a guiding & enabling style. Therefore it suggests you to do something which makes you better in some respect or the other. It tells you what 'you can' not 'what you cant'.

One more characteristic of language of pure conscience is that it is all including. It does not differentiate between human beings of different color, creed or nationality. It guides us in the direction which is good for all; not for a small section of society. So, it does away with the concept of enemy & ego. It believes in a world which is devoid of enemies & believes in the concept of love for all & malice towards none. Pure conscience doesn't divide or create boundaries; it unites people, communities, nations & races. 

Once you learn to recognize the pure conscience, second step is to silence the voice which is disabling, limiting &, therefore, impure. Do opposite of what it says. If it says walk to South, start heading North. If it challenges you to do anything, take the challenge & do it with all your might. After a while, you will notice that it stops talking to you because you are not taking its orders. You only listen to the pure conscience & once you do it, the world will be all yours.

Also learn to talk to your inner voice. Ask it questions like, "what should i do in this situation", or, "what is good for all" & it will supply with the right answers. There is no better way to live; this is the way !

To Be Kind Is To be Happy

Kindness is a virtue which every human being deserves. But being kind to someone who deserves it the least needs some effort. We are generally kind to people who are in our circle or who have done a good turn to us. When we become kind to people who are not connected to us or who can not benefit us in any way, we get true measure of happiness. When you love someone who has pained us in past or who has never loved you, you have understood true meaning of kindness. One person who deserves kindness on any given day is you. Be kind to yourself. Don't torture yourself for any sin that you might have committed in past. Forgive yourself & move on.

When we expect something in return for anything that we did to others, we undo the very act of kindness. It has to be devoid of any vested interest, ego or expectation. The person who gains maximum from any act of kindness is you. If you need any ulterior motive for any act of kindness, it should be to become happy. And it should have abundance attached to it, not the scarcity. The more abundant you are in your acts of kindness, the more abundance you will attract in your life- material & spiritual. So, don't try to limit yourself when you be kind to others.  

Impossible made Possible

Few things appear ironical but are true- the best in a man always comes out in the worst of situations. A man learns from his failures more than he does from his successes. He moves from ordinary to extraordinary by doing the impossible looking things not by acting on that appears possible. Then, why is it so that we perform more of ordinary acts than the extraordinary ones in our daily life? The answer lies in understanding the difference or similarity between Impossible & I m possible.  

When we select any goal that looks impossible or too big for our abilities, we tend to shrink it to fit it to our size. We do it so that the chances of hitting our target are 100%. And the reason behind this self-limiting thinking is that our purpose of selecting that goal is not to learn but to achieve, which is never the right approach. Another fallacy contributes to shrinking our goal size. Most of goals appear impossible in the beginning. And the usual response of human brain is to reject the impossible & embrace possible looking goals. The fact is that each goal is possible only if you give it little more effort & time than needed for an ordinary goal. Goals are not difficult or easy, our approach is soft or strong. We program our brain to accept the impossible by going for impossible goals consistently. 

In fact if someone is achieving his goals without much efforts on a regular basis, he might be underestimating his abilities. Make a realistic assessment of your skills & then select your goals. Falter on the side of  overestimating your abilities, but never underestimate your strengths. Choose something that stretches your skills & efforts to maximum. You may not achieve the goal but you will certainly learn much more than learning from achieving an ordinary goal. And remember, it is not the destination that teaches you but the journey.

One more thing, whenever you fail in any attempt, analyze what went wrong; but more importantly assess what did you learn & try to apply this learning in next & bigger goal; bigger because you have already failed successfully in a smaller effort. Sir Edmund Hillary did not stop after failing twice in his conquest. He challenged Mount Everest & said to it, 

"I will come again & conquer you because as a mountain you can't grow, but as a human, i can."

Had he shrunk the size of his goal, we would not have been talking about him here. No one knows about the maximum limit of his abilities until he stretches it to that level. You don't fail when you fall; you fail only when you fall & don't get up. And as a human being we are not programmed to fail; we are programmed to learn & succeed. 

Instead of shrinking your goals, expand your abilities. Instead of cutting down on the size of your goal, increase your effort level. Instead of listening 'impossible', listen 'i m possible', every time you choose a big goal. 

Give Shape To You Idea

When we take a stand which is not in line with the stand of majority of people, we are tentative & nervous. Most of the time we start looking outward instead of looking inward. We hear the voices which are asking us to take a popular stand. And more often than not we succumb to the outside pressure. The same thing happens with any new idea. It passes through three stages. 

First & most of all our idea is not taken earnestly. We are made fun of for thinking out of the box. Most of the time we succumb to people ridiculing our idea that looks strange to them from the word go. To be very frank, their behavior is not very strange. It is a human tendency to mock anything which is weird. And in the first look, any new idea seems weird. They don't laugh at your stupidity; they laugh at their own. They believe in the theory that if it is not done before now, it cannot be done now as well; if it is not done by them, it cannot be done by any other human being. Ridicule by others is in fact a signal that your idea is fresh and different.

The second stage is opposition. Most of the ideas get killed at the stage one. But if by any chance they survive the ridicule of people around them, they face a stiff opposition from cynics around them. People oppose the idea because it might cause an aberration in their set routine. Because it might force them to change not only their behavior but also their lifestyle. Any change is difficult to adopt. You may be considered a social outcast for your weird ideas. But, keep marching not for your idea but for the change that your idea might bring in your life and in the lives of others.

And if you succeed to cross the second hurdle, you will have the world at your feet. They will applaud you for the same ideas that they ridiculed & opposed. They will accept the idea not because they liked it but because you left them with no other option but to accept it.

It is a pity that most of the ideas die at a nascent stage not because the father of the idea doubts it, but because someone else who has no inkling of the idea is cynical about it. So, the next time you drop a brilliant idea check whether you are dropping the idea because of your own inhibition about it or because of some outside pressure. Remember, if you don't give a shape to your idea, someone else at some other place will do so.   

We Are Not Our Genders

In his bestselling book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', John Gray attributed the relationship issues between men & women to the fundamental differences in the thinking pattern of two genders. While I appreciate the monumental work that Gray did to present his views on the topic, I don't fully agree with the idea that the emotional differences between the two individuals are because of the difference of their gender. This proposition indicates towards a particular fixed mindset of either of the genders & therefore indirectly suggests that we should respond to the gender rather than to the individual.

Regardless of the gender, each individual has a certain thinking pattern which keeps changing as per the environment around him. Responding to the environment is certainly not the ideal condition. If you do so, you are designed by the conditions around you instead of designing the environment around you. You are at your best when you don't allow the conditions influence your thinking. On the contrary, you bring a paradigm shift in the general thought pattern around you by your persistent efforts. No doubt, it is a herculean task but it is worth the efforts. You can either be influenced by the people around you or you can influence them through your efforts.

I am not suggesting to be rigid in approach. What I am suggesting is that all individuals, irrespective of their gender, have particular way of thinking, reacting or responding. Study them closely as an individual; know their traits & blemishes & accept them as they are. The problem with fixed mindset is that rejection comes first & acceptance comes last. Dealing with an individual on the basis of gender is akin to considering him as an object rather than a live-wire of varied emotions. Both, men & women are from earth & we should deal with them on earth rather than going for a trip to the outer space  to solve our problems.

Leaders Are Not Born

There has always been a debate on whether leaders are born or made. How do we settle the issue? It can only be done if we closely look at the way two different kinds of leaders behave. 

Those who are born leaders consider ruling over people their birth right. Serving others doesn't come naturally to them. They can't tolerate failures because they have not seen many.

On the other hand leaders who are made by hard efforts know the value of the reward. They know the value because they have paid the price- the price of hard efforts, many failures & a lot of criticism. Any leader  who has gone through tough time respects opinion of others & wants others to express their views. He believes in distributing power instead of using it to muzzle the opinions of others. 

This is true for all kinds of leaders- political leader, social leader or a business leader. A true leader must pay the price of hard effort before he succeeds. Unless he achieves success the hard way, he will not attach price to it & will lose it sooner than later. 
The other point of discussion especially in business circles has been about the capabilities of a 'leader by effort' vis-a-vis 'a natural leader'. No doubt, a natural leader understands the nature of job quite quickly & uses his natural talents to adapt to the requirements of the job. On the other hand, ' leader by effort' has to make hard efforts to meet the requirements of his job. But once he does so, he gives it his hundred percent while a natural leader tends to relax after reaching his primary goal. The reason of this behavior is again the cost that 'leader by effort' paid to get to his goal. 
So, if you are toiling hard to reach a goal or you think that you don't have natural talents to be something, worry not; you deserve that goal no less than somebody who thinks he is born leader. The world will take a bow once you achieve your goal. For now, just keep walking towards the direction of your dreams !

Conquer The Self

Our  whole life is nothing but a series of hard-fought battles. From an early age man is taught to fight for his right, justice & for his place in society. We fight battles with our problems, obstacles & many other external demons. We also have daily tussles in our relationship- with our spouses, children & friends. We fight our own limitations to do some unthinkable acts. And most of the time we kiss victory & feel like taking a victory lap. But we are unable do so because after every such battle, we feel conked out; we are badly bruised & hurt. We win the battle but lose a lot in bargain- our relationship, our energy & most importantly, we lose peace of mind. 

Another distinct characteristic of a battle of relationship is that both the sides are victorious but after some time both feel like losers. Their victory is short-lived & there is no joy in it. They feel like being friends again but fear that they will lose some ground in the bargain & stick to their positions whole life. They have a lot of people around them, some complementing them on their hard-fought victory, some others egging them on to get ready for another one. In spite of these people around them, they feel lonely.  

We also engage in a fierce battle with our fellow human beings. To be one-up with our neighbor, to get a better raise than our colleagues, to get a promotion much faster than others, to be the wealthiest & the most powerful man in our circle. And many of us achieve this goal.  We win the battle & possess a lot of wealth, be the power-center but lose inner peace, health & people on the way to our goal. Not a good bargain! We have a lot of wealth but live a life of utter poverty. We have people hanging around us not because we are special or loving but because they can use us in their battles. We realize that top is a lonely place but we are too tired to climb down & cry quietly. 

Instead of fighting many false battles we should gear up to fight one real battle & that is to conquer the self. The demons within us are more dangerous than the demons without. The demons of avarice, fear & hatred harm us more than the demons outside. And once we conquer these demons, we will conquer the world. The important point to note is that after this victory we will be fresher than ever, will have more friends than ever & will lead an abundant life.