Love Defines Us

Love moves in circles & encompasses everything that is connected to the persons in love. This is the most precious gain from love. The existence which looks mundane to an ordinary eye, transforms into a magical world. And as the intensity of love increases, the circle in which it operates also expands. After a certain period, love becomes blind- blind to any deformity in the world or to any blemish in the person. Life turns into a beautiful song. But the opposite of this fact is equally true. Hate also changes everything around a person. A person who hates someone attracts everything which is negative, sees every act with suspicion & finds the life around him to be bitter & mean. In fact, in both the cases, the world remains the same. It is the medium that changes. The lesson to be learnt from this strange game of love & hate is that we make the world around us; not the other way round. 

Challenge Your Fears

Our whole existence depends upon one aspect- How big do we dream? In fact, it also doesn't matter whether all our dreams come true or not. Our dreams give direction to our goals which get manifested in different forms.
If dreams are so important then why don't we dream long enough?
There are two reasons why we stop dreaming. The first one is that the environment around us doesn't support this & considers this as a waste of an activity. A child dreams best when he is young but stops dreaming or shrinks the size of his dreams as he grows up. He encounters two obstacles on his way. First, he finds people around him who limit his dreams & secondly, he faces failures on the way of fulfilling his dreams. If he is not taught or he doesn't learn to tackle either of the two, he starts falling into a pattern that is set by others & hints at living an ordinary life.
After a certain period he shivers merely at the thought of having a dream. If at all he dreams, he dreams small; so small that it doesn't make any difference to his existence. Any new dream scares him to death. Instead of living his dream, he starts living his fears. Surprisingly, most of his fears come true because he believes in those & his belief on his dreams further shrinks. Fear is the most crucial factor to kill our art of dreaming.
So the only way to keep dreaming is to challenge your fears. Do what you fear most. Most of the successful people adopted this technique; they did what they feared.  They also did whatever others warned them not to try because it was too difficult or out of their reach. They questioned every doubt and defied every limit. The only thing that you need to overcome is your fear. If you don't, rest assured, one day it will overcome you.  

Listen To The Inner Voice

The sweetest voice for a person should always be his inner voice. It is this voice that guides him towards what ought to be done. It separates right from the wrong; wheat from the chaff; extraordinary from the ordinary. Listen to your intuition. If prayer is you talking to God, your intuition is God talking to you. Your inner voice works like a torch works in gloom. So, keep it on, always.

But sometimes we have two inner voices. While one is your conscience, pure & sublime, the other is its opponent which is false. It doesn't want you to follow what your real voice instructs. It wants you to do just the reverse.

So, the million dollar question is how to differentiate between the two voices. How do I know whether the voice that is speaking right now is the devil or pure conscience ? Remember, a pure voice is soft, benevolent  & forgiving. It doesn't even know the words like harm, hate or revenge. It speaks the language of love. It cries when someone is pained. Try to listen to the voice which has these characteristics.

Another way of distinguishing good conscience from the bad one is to understand the style of their suggestions. A pure voice has a guiding & enabling style. Therefore it suggests you to do something which makes you better in some respect or the other. It tells you what 'you can' not 'what you cant'.

One more characteristic of language of pure conscience is that it is all including. It does not differentiate between human beings of different color, creed or nationality. It guides us in the direction which is good for all; not for a small section of society. So, it does away with the concept of enemy & ego. It believes in a world which is devoid of enemies & believes in the concept of love for all & malice towards none. Pure conscience doesn't divide or create boundaries; it unites people, communities, nations & races. 

Once you learn to recognize the pure conscience, second step is to silence the voice which is disabling, limiting &, therefore, impure. Do opposite of what it says. If it says walk to South, start heading North. If it challenges you to do anything, take the challenge & do it with all your might. After a while, you will notice that it stops talking to you because you are not taking its orders. You only listen to the pure conscience & once you do it, the world will be all yours.

Also learn to talk to your inner voice. Ask it questions like, "what should i do in this situation", or, "what is good for all" & it will supply with the right answers. There is no better way to live; this is the way !

To Be Kind Is To be Happy

Kindness is a virtue which every human being deserves. But being kind to someone who deserves it the least needs some effort. We are generally kind to people who are in our circle or who have done a good turn to us. When we become kind to people who are not connected to us or who can not benefit us in any way, we get true measure of happiness. When you love someone who has pained us in past or who has never loved you, you have understood true meaning of kindness. One person who deserves kindness on any given day is you. Be kind to yourself. Don't torture yourself for any sin that you might have committed in past. Forgive yourself & move on.

When we expect something in return for anything that we did to others, we undo the very act of kindness. It has to be devoid of any vested interest, ego or expectation. The person who gains maximum from any act of kindness is you. If you need any ulterior motive for any act of kindness, it should be to become happy. And it should have abundance attached to it, not the scarcity. The more abundant you are in your acts of kindness, the more abundance you will attract in your life- material & spiritual. So, don't try to limit yourself when you be kind to others.  

Impossible made Possible

Few things appear ironical but are true- the best in a man always comes out in the worst of situations. A man learns from his failures more than he does from his successes. He moves from ordinary to extraordinary by doing the impossible looking things not by acting on that appears possible. Then, why is it so that we perform more of ordinary acts than the extraordinary ones in our daily life? The answer lies in understanding the difference or similarity between Impossible & I m possible.  

When we select any goal that looks impossible or too big for our abilities, we tend to shrink it to fit it to our size. We do it so that the chances of hitting our target are 100%. And the reason behind this self-limiting thinking is that our purpose of selecting that goal is not to learn but to achieve, which is never the right approach. Another fallacy contributes to shrinking our goal size. Most of goals appear impossible in the beginning. And the usual response of human brain is to reject the impossible & embrace possible looking goals. The fact is that each goal is possible only if you give it little more effort & time than needed for an ordinary goal. Goals are not difficult or easy, our approach is soft or strong. We program our brain to accept the impossible by going for impossible goals consistently. 

In fact if someone is achieving his goals without much efforts on a regular basis, he might be underestimating his abilities. Make a realistic assessment of your skills & then select your goals. Falter on the side of  overestimating your abilities, but never underestimate your strengths. Choose something that stretches your skills & efforts to maximum. You may not achieve the goal but you will certainly learn much more than learning from achieving an ordinary goal. And remember, it is not the destination that teaches you but the journey.

One more thing, whenever you fail in any attempt, analyze what went wrong; but more importantly assess what did you learn & try to apply this learning in next & bigger goal; bigger because you have already failed successfully in a smaller effort. Sir Edmund Hillary did not stop after failing twice in his conquest. He challenged Mount Everest & said to it, 

"I will come again & conquer you because as a mountain you can't grow, but as a human, i can."

Had he shrunk the size of his goal, we would not have been talking about him here. No one knows about the maximum limit of his abilities until he stretches it to that level. You don't fail when you fall; you fail only when you fall & don't get up. And as a human being we are not programmed to fail; we are programmed to learn & succeed. 

Instead of shrinking your goals, expand your abilities. Instead of cutting down on the size of your goal, increase your effort level. Instead of listening 'impossible', listen 'i m possible', every time you choose a big goal. 

Give Shape To You Idea

When we take a stand which is not in line with the stand of majority of people, we are tentative & nervous. Most of the time we start looking outward instead of looking inward. We hear the voices which are asking us to take a popular stand. And more often than not we succumb to the outside pressure. The same thing happens with any new idea. It passes through three stages. 

First & most of all our idea is not taken earnestly. We are made fun of for thinking out of the box. Most of the time we succumb to people ridiculing our idea that looks strange to them from the word go. To be very frank, their behavior is not very strange. It is a human tendency to mock anything which is weird. And in the first look, any new idea seems weird. They don't laugh at your stupidity; they laugh at their own. They believe in the theory that if it is not done before now, it cannot be done now as well; if it is not done by them, it cannot be done by any other human being. Ridicule by others is in fact a signal that your idea is fresh and different.

The second stage is opposition. Most of the ideas get killed at the stage one. But if by any chance they survive the ridicule of people around them, they face a stiff opposition from cynics around them. People oppose the idea because it might cause an aberration in their set routine. Because it might force them to change not only their behavior but also their lifestyle. Any change is difficult to adopt. You may be considered a social outcast for your weird ideas. But, keep marching not for your idea but for the change that your idea might bring in your life and in the lives of others.

And if you succeed to cross the second hurdle, you will have the world at your feet. They will applaud you for the same ideas that they ridiculed & opposed. They will accept the idea not because they liked it but because you left them with no other option but to accept it.

It is a pity that most of the ideas die at a nascent stage not because the father of the idea doubts it, but because someone else who has no inkling of the idea is cynical about it. So, the next time you drop a brilliant idea check whether you are dropping the idea because of your own inhibition about it or because of some outside pressure. Remember, if you don't give a shape to your idea, someone else at some other place will do so.   

We Are Not Our Genders

In his bestselling book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', John Gray attributed the relationship issues between men & women to the fundamental differences in the thinking pattern of two genders. While I appreciate the monumental work that Gray did to present his views on the topic, I don't fully agree with the idea that the emotional differences between the two individuals are because of the difference of their gender. This proposition indicates towards a particular fixed mindset of either of the genders & therefore indirectly suggests that we should respond to the gender rather than to the individual.

Regardless of the gender, each individual has a certain thinking pattern which keeps changing as per the environment around him. Responding to the environment is certainly not the ideal condition. If you do so, you are designed by the conditions around you instead of designing the environment around you. You are at your best when you don't allow the conditions influence your thinking. On the contrary, you bring a paradigm shift in the general thought pattern around you by your persistent efforts. No doubt, it is a herculean task but it is worth the efforts. You can either be influenced by the people around you or you can influence them through your efforts.

I am not suggesting to be rigid in approach. What I am suggesting is that all individuals, irrespective of their gender, have particular way of thinking, reacting or responding. Study them closely as an individual; know their traits & blemishes & accept them as they are. The problem with fixed mindset is that rejection comes first & acceptance comes last. Dealing with an individual on the basis of gender is akin to considering him as an object rather than a live-wire of varied emotions. Both, men & women are from earth & we should deal with them on earth rather than going for a trip to the outer space  to solve our problems.