Actions Control Emotions

Most of our emotions precede certain reactions by our body. For example, when we are angry, we scowl at people; when sad; we tend to go into depression. Similarly, when we are happy, we laugh or smile a lot. But, the opposite of same is also true; many of our actions lead to varied emotions. Don't believe it? Do the following exercise for first hand experience- if you are in a good mood & having a good time, just drop your shoulders & put your hands on your forehead as if something bad is about to take place. Think of something that gave you a lot of pain & observe what happens. Your body will read the action & will command your mind to change the emotion. All of a sudden, you start going into depression and a mood of melancholy descends on you in no time. This further reminds you of more  such incidents of past & a vicious cycle sets in.

Thoughts play an important role in setting the tone for the day. But, the problem with thoughts is that they are difficult to control as a large number of thoughts pass through our mind daily. So, what is the alternative? Control your emotions by controlling your actions. Observe the posture of your body when you are angry. Is it a relaxed posture or a tight one? Of course, your body is in an upright posture; your heart beat is more than normal & if you are speaking, your pitch is high. Now, do the opposite- sit down, take a deep breath & try to divert your attention away from the matter that is making you angry. If possible, listen to some soothing song or play with your pet & try to smile. You will definitely feel some change in a positive direction. While you cannot change the situation that is making you angry, you can surely bring a change in your actions & thus, in your emotions.

Don’t smile only when you are happy; try to smile to make yourself happy even in a depressing environment. It can be the source of your permanent joy. This curve will certainly set a lot of things straight ! 

Dream Big To Stay Young

No one wants to get old and ironically no one wants to die young as well. Age of a person has nothing to do with the number of years he has lived. It has a lot to do with how his thought patterns are taking shape. As long as you are capable of dreaming, you are young. But then, some people never learn to dream. The fact is they never live. They just pass through this planet for a very short duration; so short that they are not even noticed. Even if such people live for hundred years, they would not matter. And on the other hand, we  have people like Anne Frank, Keats, Shelley who died young but left some indelible prints on the surface of time. So, age is irrelevant and an unnecessary topic of discussion. 

What we do when we live is of utmost importance. And our actions have a lot to do with our dreams. A child is a born dreamer & he wants to get whatever he dreams. Initially, he gets everything he dreams & demands but, by & by, we convince him that in life you don't get whatever you dream & this is the moment when a child is killed & an adult is born. This new-born adult starts aging fast as many of his dreams soon convert into regrets. He grows old when all his dreams are no more than a bundle of regrets. So, we may have an old man of 26 or a young lad of 70 depending upon his state of mind.

Even if we consider that all our dreams are not going to turn into reality, we shouldn't stop dreaming. In fact, this should be a good reason to dream more & dream big. To most of the successful people dreaming was as natural as breathing. They could achieve anything because they could dream anything. One way to know the age of a person is to know the size of his dreams.So, if you want to keep fit & want to die young at the age of 90 or 100, dream big & dream more. 

Enlightenment Vs Wisdom

We spend large part of our life in quest of knowledge. From our early childhood, we are taught to gather knowledge to be successful in life. We learn that two & two make four & all other facts about different subjects. While we are taught all this, we are never told why we are learning these facts or what is the use of these facts. And because we don't have much wisdom, we also fail to ask these questions from our mentors. When we get enough knowledge, some of us learn to ask questions from others & from self. And in the process we also learn the use of knowledge that we gathered over the years. Not necessarily, we find all the facts useful now. So, while knowledge is about gathering answers, wisdom is about asking questions.

But the most important step is to reach enlightenment. When we ask questions from others we know the answers & we start knowing others as well and in the process we gather wisdom. When we ask questions from the self, we get enlightenment. It is in this process that we know the self & know the world around us in a better way.

If we observe the pattern of reaching enlightenment( if one succeeds in reaching to that level), it is knowledge first, wisdom next & enlightenment last. And here, lies the crux of the problem. By the time one reaches the stage of enlightenment, one has spent large part of one's life pursuing something which now seems meaningless. A child is essentially an enlightened soul simply because he doesn't know the facts; hence he doesn't believe in boundaries. It is when he makes borders of knowledge around himself that he gets into a trap & is caught in the rut. 

If we let the child make the choice he will choose questions over answers- means he will either choose wisdom or enlightenment first. Knowledge will be the last in his priority list. By reversing the process he will have major part of his life spent for the right purpose & will live his life in the right earnest. If he knows self first, he will be well placed to know others. So, our emphasis as adults should be to encourage & guide him to know the self rather than encouraging him to gather knowledge. But the most important question is- Are we enlightened to let him follow this process ?  

Dance Of LIfe

Imagine a football ground sized auditorium packed to its capacity; spectators are waiting for a much talked about dance performance with bated breath. There is nothing happening on the stage for quite some time. And when the curtains are lifted, they notice a figure limping its way to the center-stage. The child they see is nicely dressed but hardly noticeable & low in confidence. He stands there for a while with tears in his eyes and then murmur something which is barely audible to the audience. They feel pity on the child and start leaving the auditorium one by one. The child also leaves the stage after the hall has emptied. 

This is not the scene from a play or a movie. This is what happens in the lives of a large number of people. When we come to this world, our arrival is welcomed. Each one of us is expected to be a hero & we too are brimming with joy & enthusiasm. But when we see people around us who are struggling to succeed, hardly making both ends meet, whimpering & doing their daily chores grudgingly, we start thinking that the life is not to be celebrated but to be mourned. We start making all kinds of compromises; start complaining about everything & expressing our anger on this drama called life. And one day we become exactly like the child narrated above. Who is to blame for this sorry state of our life ? 

I know you know the answer ! But, why do we allow our life to drift in this direction when we know that we come to this world to dance, to celebrate, not to struggle or to get enslaved to a routine? In fact, each day is a huge opportunity to kick off your shoes and rock the stage. Don't bother if you don't know the steps. As Wayne Dyer succinctly explains, "When you dance your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step on the way." Understand the purpose of your life- It's to dance, to enjoy; not to get into a particular pattern. And as you live your life, the patterns will be set as per your choice. 

Now imagine the same boy on the stage giving the best performance of his life because he is happy & enjoying each step; and on the way enthralling the audience & spreading joy all around. He is having the dance of his life! 

Silence Speaks

People give undue importance to speech while the fact is that silence can also be a very effective form of communication. Surprisingly, argument is considered a war of words; not a war of views. The fact is that the person with lesser understanding of the topic needs support of words. A person who is clear about what he is talking doesn't require too many words to put his point across. If your intentions are right, you don't need to explain it to others. Your actions will explain it much better than your words. Emerson put it quite succinctly when he stated,"Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." You don't need to worry about whether the other person will understand you or not because if he does not understand your silence, he will not understand your words as well.

Be Kind, Be Happy

Kindness is a virtue which every human being deserves. But being kind to someone who deserves it the least needs some effort. We are generally kind to people who are in our circle or who have done a good turn to us. When we become kind to people who are not connected to us or who can not benefit us in any way, we get true measure of happiness. When you love someone who has pained us in past or who has never loved you, you have understood true meaning of kindness. One person who deserves kindness on any given day is you. Be kind to yourself. Don't torture yourself for any sin that you might have committed in past. Forgive yourself & move on.    

Fall Is Good

When all is hunky-dory in your life, when whatever you do, goes your way, when you don't seem to put a foot wrong, life is fun. But then, this is not what life is all about. Life is not only about tasting success, but also about learning what it offers you as its teachings. When you are running, you miss to observe the land below your feet. It is during the fall that you notice what was wrong with the ground or with your steps. Fall is good if you take it not as a setback but as a learning place where you go to have your rehearsals and start anew. You can also use it as your base camp to gather energy to start afresh.  Important thing is not falling but rising every time you fall.