I Used Everything

Man is a bundle of uncountable traits, many of which go unnoticed & unused. One of the reasons that these traits are not used is that man himself is not sure about these. A good number of our traits are developed over the years. We work on some specific traits & become master of the same & think we were born only with these. The fact of the matter is that we are born with innumerable traits. We develop some traits that we come to know about but a large number remains latent throughout our life.

What are the reasons that we ignore the treasure house that we are sitting on? Prime reason is that we don't trust ourselves of having certain traits. On many occasions we come to know about a trait by chance & surprise ourselves with our achievements in that field. For instance, a child may learn about his talent for direction when he guides his classmates in some play in school in the absence of the actual director. And the child goes on to become a famous director! The question to be asked is what if the original director was not absent on that day!

Another reason is that we don't test ourselves. If we believe & do a random check on varied traits, we may find a good number of these waiting to be used. We wait for the opportunity instead of making one. So, we leave some of the wonderful talents to chance & that is the reason that despite gifted with a good number of these, we get to know only about a few. 

One more reason is that we wait for others' recommendation for our talents. If someone appreciates any of our talent, we give it another go & wait for another nod from some other person. It is like getting approval from my neighbor to use my own things in my home & if he disagrees, not using these. How funny! 

It is tragic that a wonderful gift like man remains unopened throughout the life. We do a great disservice to ourselves & to mankind by not opening it. It doesn't matter whether others like the articles in the gift or not; our job is to open the parcel & use every article in it otherwise we will live a limited existence. It will be a pity if I have to return God some of the articles of the parcel telling Him," Sorry God, I could not use all of these."

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left & could say, - "I used everything that you gave me". - Erma Bombeck

Meet Your Ship

There are three kinds of people in this world. 
First kind of people are those who don't react when opportunity knocks their door. In fact, many a time they are not able to even recognize the opportunity. Most often than not, opportunity comes wrapped in problems & an ordinary man looks at problem only as a problem & starts looking for the solution. When any adversity strikes you, the first question you should ask is- "What is in it for me?" Yes, every opportunity, big or small, carries fruits of equal proportion to be had. Your job is to identify & welcome the opportunity. So, these people don't respond because they don't identify opportunity. Opportunity knocks their door but most of the time they are not home. They don't see the ship even when it is at shore waiting for them to board it. 
Second kind of people are the ones who identify these opportunities & respond to these. They know that opportunity will come in different forms & shapes & they are always waiting for it. They grab it with both the hands once they identify it. Not only that, they also keep themselves well prepared to make best use of all the opportunities. So, they are waiting for the ship to arrive & once it does, their  job is to board it & start their journey to success. 
But, third kind of people are those who don't wait for opportunity; they make opportunity even when it is not there. They are the real winners as they never complain about lack of opportunity. They have it in plenty & they also have the ways & means to overcome any challenge & convert it into a huge opportunity. They invite challenges if they are short of the same. Not that they become successful in all their efforts but even when they fail, they make best use of these failures. They become stronger with every failure & every failure becomes the stepping stone to their success. These kinds of people never wait for the ship to arrive;they swim out to meet it !
          "No great man ever complains of want of opportunity." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go With The Flow

We are a generation in hurry. We live as if we have to reach somewhere & we don't have enough time. The problem is not that we don't have time but that we don't know where we are heading to. We start our journey in a calm manner but as we grow up, we build a red-light mentality. 

Red light is a wonderful idea to control traffic. It also helps you take some rest, rejuvenate, observe what is happening on the road & start your journey afresh once you get the green signal. But, if you see people at a red light, you will observe that no one wants to take a halt, breathe easy or notice what is happening around. In fact, people are more tense at a red-light; they fume over 'unnecessary' break; swear & get more stressed than they were before the break. Many of them keep the engine of the vehicle on despite the fact that they have to stay there for a certain time. They burn the fuel even when they are stationary. How funny !

Compare the same with people who have red-light mentality. They start the journey with great enthusiasm. They have their eyes on the destination & want to reach there at the earliest. The problem is that they only go through the motions & don't notice the scene around. They forget that they will reach the destination anyhow; it is the journey that they should enjoy. And when they reach their destination, they have momentary pleasure but they get stressed-out & want to take a break. But now hurried life gets the better of them & they find it hard to break the routine. How silly !

Living can be learnt best from a river flowing calmly. It is not in a hurry as it knows it will reach there someday. Not that its journey is all hunky-dory but it doesn't fight the hindrances; it flows over these obstacles which later become part of it, adding to its beauty. It enjoys the journey without worrying about the destination. In fact, its only destination is 'now'; this moment & it refuses to live beyond that. How natural !

If you want to enjoy your life instead of passing it, flow like a river. Be calm in every situation. Don't hurry thinking that you have only one life. Enjoy because you have only one life. Don't struggle, don't complain. Go with the flow & enjoy this journey called life. Consider each obstacle an integral part of your life. It has come to teach you, to make you better, not to stop you. Live in 'now' as this is all that you have. How satisfying !  

Don't Cry Because It's Over

We should learn to celebrate endings not only because they precede new beginnings but also because they happen for a reason. Every journey begins & ends with a purpose. So, if we accept & celebrate the start or the continuation of the journey, what stops us to celebrate the end? Or, why are we pained emotionally when something bitter happens in our life? Why do we want it to end immediately?

Most of us believe that we have come to this planet to achieve something. No doubt, we are the chosen few who have a goal to meet, a mission to accomplish. The life without purpose is a life wasted. We won't be able to live long if believe that we came here as the result of an incident & we have no control over what is happening in our life. Each one of us is an important cog in the wheel of this grand plan of the Almighty. The whole system is disturbed when we don't play our part to perfection. The challenge lies in understanding our role, our mission. The prime purpose of our life is to live it to the fullest & help others live theirs. Though we are separate identities, yet we are connected with one grand purpose. When everything is going our way, we don't want to break the pattern & if the pattern is broken, we regret it. It is because we treat ourselves as an island, not connected to anyone. So, we are not bothered about any other plan. 

Similarly, when someone leaves us, he does so because he has played his part in our life. His role was limited to that extent. His overstaying would only have disturbed the equilibrium & caused more pain. And we would be selfish if we want him to stay any longer in our life or if we cry because he left. The way he has moved away from you, you also need to do the same; it will bring tranquility in your & his life. Make the departure as smooth as possible. Say him good-bye, wish him a happy life & move on!

One more thing, attaching any relationship with departure will only bring pain in your life & remembering it for all the wonderful moments that you spent with someone will bring peace & contentment. It will be sad if a moment of sudden departure weighs much heavier than all the years of a wonderful relationship. And, don't forget that relationships are transient; purpose is more encompassing & permanent.

Real Magic

Everything takes shape twice- first in our mind & then in the real world. There is hardly anything that materialized before being imagined. Then, why is it so that people don't believe imagination to be so powerful or don't use this power?

One reason is that it looks a bit phony or unreal. It looks unreal until you experience its power. Most of the inventions in the world took place not in the labs but in the imaginative minds of otherwise ordinary people. What looked beyond the realms appeared quite doable once it took shape. These people became great because they used their imagination to think the unthinkable & thus did the un-doable. They appeared foolish & their ideas absurd before they found the same things that they had imagined taking place in the real world. Einstein remarked,

                         "If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it."

At first, any imaginative idea sounds absurd to others & even to you but that does not warrant its failure.  On the contrary, more absurd an idea is, better are the chances of its success. This is what imagination does- it converts absurd into superb, unreal into real & un-doable into doable!

Another reason people don't use their imaginative power is that they are not trained to use it.  On the contrary, from his early childhood a child is taught to follow the unsaid rules, do what is being told & not to try anything which looks out of box. Our education system teaches us to be disciplined, to carry out the orders. By the time a child grows up, he becomes slave to a system that discourages use of power of imagination. Hence, a large population remains deprived of a wonderful gift given by God to His children. 

All the miracles become real once we start working on this power. Our real magic comes out when we start imagining anything that looks impossible & start working towards achieving it. World will be more wonderful a place if a man is taught from his childhood to only do which has not been done, to think what looks impossible & to go for what looks highly improbable to achieve to an ordinary soul. One of the most imaginative souls of our age Einstein had this to offer  on reality & miracle,

"There are two ways to live your life.

  One is as though nothing is a miracle.

  The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Control Your Mind

Our mind is the most powerful computer ever invented. It has a memory, an operating system & a key board which is used to write all our experiences- negative as well as positive. We need to give commands to our mind to produce results. But unlike computer, it has some mechanisms that make it distinct from the ordinary computers. 

First & foremost, it is never switched off; it works round the clock. Whether you use it or not, it continues to process the data that it gets. It doesn't depend on anyone for the data; it collects it on its own. It gathers data from varied sources, some of the sources that you may not even recognize after a certain period. You might not have observed certain incident that took place around you, but it not only took notice of the same but also saved it to its memory. 

The other distinct feature of human mind is that it is always on auto-save mode; for every bit of experience- real or imaginary. And we can use this feature to our advantage or disadvantage depending upon how we use the experience. The experiences that are painful & demotivating can also be programmed to our advantage if we stop seeing these as negative experiences & treat the same as learning experiences. On the other hand, we can use all positive experiences to solve our problems or to motivate us in troubled time. We can make two separate files of learning experiences & positive experiences & give command to our mind to save all past & current data related to experiences in proper files.

One thing that is absolutely in your control is the interpretation of the data. How you read the data will have a lot of bearing on your future life. Mind computer needs commands to read the data & depending upon the commands given by you, it interprets the data. Whenever faced with a challenge, your mind will automatically open the files of learning experience & positive experience. Now, it is up to you to choose the data that you want to use. The interpretation of the data will be done by you & will be used to overcome the challenge. One interesting fact is that every time you open a particular file, your computer will store your preference. And after some time it will start opening the file of your preference & rejecting the file that you don't want it to open in problem solving mechanism. If you recall negative experience, every time you are faced with a challenge, your mind will open the negative experience file & discard the other file & vice versa. So, you can either erase all negative experiences from your life by not recalling these or you can use these to your advantage by treating these as learning experiences.

The most important thing to remember is that you should not 'let' your mind work but 'make' it work. Make it do certain things that it fears. Scold it if it tries to frighten you. Feed it with commands that work for you not against you. As Emerson said, 

                                       " Do the thing & you will have the power."

Dream Big, Dream More

No one wants to get old and ironically no one wants to die young as well. Age of a person has nothing to do with the number of years he has lived. It has a lot to do with how his thought patterns are taking shape. As long as you are capable of dreaming, you are young. But then, some people never learn to dream. The fact is they never live. They just pass through this planet for a very short duration; so short that they are not even noticed. Even if such people live for hundred years, they would not matter. And on the other hand, we  have people like Anne Frank, Keats, Shelley who died young but left some indelible prints on the surface of time. So, age is irrelevant and an unnecessary topic of discussion. 

What we do when we live is of utmost importance. And our actions have a lot to do with our dreams. A child is a born dreamer & he wants to get whatever he dreams. Initially, he gets everything he dreams & demands but, by & by, we convince him that in life you don't get whatever you dream & this is the moment when a child is killed & an adult is born. This new-born adult starts aging fast as many of his dreams soon convert into regrets. He grows old when all his dreams are no more than a bundle of regrets. So, we may have an old man of 26 or a young lad of 70 depending upon his state of mind.

Life will be a difficult assignment without dreams. We will only see frustration, anger & loss around us. It is in our dreams that we find real life. Many a time, it is while living that we go through the motions & wake up to the reality in our dreams. 

Even if we consider that all our dreams are not going to turn into reality, we shouldn't stop dreaming. In fact, this should be a good reason to dream more & dream big. To most of the successful people dreaming was as natural as breathing. They could achieve anything because they could dream anything. One way to know the age of a person is to know the size of his dreams.So, if you want to keep fit & want to die young at the age of 90 or 100, dream big & dream more. 

Learning Curve

Learning is not a science; it's an art. This is why it cannot be taught; it has to be learnt. Our learning comes much before we physically appear in this world. A child learns to survive in the womb of his mother. He survives many odds & ultimately arrives. In fact he survives much tougher conditions than a normal child would do in physical world. And, when he arrives we wind a protective cover around him. The child acclimatizes himself quite fast in the new atmosphere. Most of the things he learns himself through trial & error method. He makes mistakes, learns & grows up.

He also learns a lot many things from his parents, peer group & teachers. But when he grows up, he hates being told. Not that he doesn't understand what we tell him but he finds the style quite didactic. And it is because he is a good observer too. He finds a lot of people around him telling a lot of things and practicing just the opposite. He is not confused; he is convinced- convinced that all the people who  are  trying to teach him are themselves confused.

So the best way to teach a child is to be like him. Don't teach him to be a perfect man. Teach him to be a perfect child. Throw challenges at him or throw him to challenges. Let him commit mistakes & learn through these. The more mistakes he commits, the more mature a person he becomes. Trust him; if he could survive those difficult months before you saw him in physical form, he will survive the rest of his life as well.

Ironically, most of the children become the same kinds of fathers that they don't want in their childhood. And the reason is not that they are forced to believe by being told some moral precepts but because they observe that behavior, day in & day out. They think its cool to oppose something in childhood and follow the same when one becomes a father. And they believe this is the only way to be a nice father & the fallacy continues.

If  we teach him to be a free man independent of the opinions of others, he would walk the right path. If he doesn't know the way, he will find out one!   

Power Of Silence

People give undue importance to speech while the fact is that silence can also be a very effective form of communication. Surprisingly, argument is considered a war of words; not a war of views. The fact is that the person with lesser understanding of the topic needs support of words. A person who is clear about what he is talking doesn't require too many words to put his point across. If your intentions are right, you don't need to explain it to others. Your actions will explain it much better than your words. Emerson put it quite succinctly when he stated,

                    "Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." 

The most powerful language of the world is the language of emotions. When we are in a state of emotional trance, we generally don't speak. Take the case of two people deeply in love or the love of mother for her daughter, they don't communicate yet understand every unspoken world. On the contrary, when two people have an altercation, they shout their lungs out because there is no emotional bonding between the two. They don't understand each other words; they even don't want to be understood. 

Sometimes, people say that this is burst of negative energy and it is good to give vent to your feelings. But this negative energy is only going to come back, if you shout or swear. It is because the intention is not to kill negative energy, but to show others how agitated you are. Most of the times, speaking loudly at someone produces more negative energy, aimed at self. 

If you are cross with someone, express your displeasure in a soft manner. It will have a long lasting effect on the other person; & more importantly, it will sooth your nerves. If he doesn't understand the silence, he surely will not understand your words too.

Keep Walking

When we start a journey, we have a destination in our mind. We encounter a lot of challenges on the way but keep walking & reach the end of our journey. But many a time, we start for one place & reach the other. Why does that happen? Do we deviate from our path? 

Remember, we think of only one destination but God has many in store for us. The basic difference between His choice & our choice is that our choice is influenced by external factors while His is in line with our dreams. When we start we think only about reaching the end of our journey while the real joy & learning is in the journey itself. When we begin we are not mature enough to think about the places that we will touch during our excursion but as we move along we see those & enjoy the beauty. Destination is not as important as the journey because destination stops you while journey makes you walk. 

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; it is the journey that matters in the end."

                                                                                                                                -Urusula Le Guin

Sometimes, a voice pushes us towards a particular direction & we turn towards it, willy-nilly. What is that direction? Who is pushing us & why? The direction you are pushed towards is the direction of your dreams & your inner voice is pushing you there. Read the signal; listen to your intuition. Your intuition is nothing but God talking to you. Don't fight; don't oppose. Just keep walking & one day you will arrive where you are needed to.

No doubt, you intend to do something in life & want to do it all cost but don't get frustrated if you don't reach there; you will reach somewhere & that somewhere is not the end of the journey; it is just the beginning. Our job is to listen to that voice, go towards the direction of our dreams & keep walking. And, don't stop even if it appears that you have reached your destination. It may be a temporary halt to take some rest & walk again. 

Thoughts & Emotions

It has been said time and again that thoughts make a man. I'll go a step further & state they do more than merely making a man; they make him & the whole world around him. 

Thoughts are much bigger in size than they originally appear. The important question to be asked is, if we have a large number of thoughts travelling through our mind every day, why only a few seem to make an impact? Why all thoughts don't affect us & shape our destiny?

A thought alone is not powerful but when it is combined with emotions, it gains strength. It is like if you see someone on the road & think about him it won't affect you but if he does something that makes you happy, it will leave an impact. So, it is not thought about a person that influenced your perception about that person; it was his behavior & your emotions towards that behavior that did it. And once that happens, it has a ripple effect. Remember, your thoughts & emotions don't add, they multiply. So, it can be 'good thoughts plus good emotions' or 'bad thoughts plus bad emotions' that decides your opinion about someone. The important thing to learn is that since thoughts are huge in number, you can't do much about all your thoughts. Comparatively, emotions are lesser & can be easily controlled.

"I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them & to dominate them." - Oscar Wilde

So, how do thoughts make a man? It is because dwelling upon a thought also makes it stronger & drives traffic of emotions towards it. If you are thinking about someone negatively & if you keep thinking about him in the same light, it will only attract negative emotions. On the contrary, if there is a person who has harmed you but you forgive him & move on with other activities, it won't affect you anymore. Since you cannot control all your thoughts, it will be important to choose thoughts that affect you positively & reject thoughts that leave a negative influence. Even if we control five or six negative or positive thoughts, rest won't matter much. If you consciously practice it for some time, it will become your second nature & you won't need to make any effort to control your thoughts.   

The Proof Of Life

The biggest proof of life is growth. If someone is not busy growing, he is surely busy dying. The basic difference between objects & human beings is that while objects only decay, human beings have the option of growing. We are not talking about growth in social status or financial standing but growing in mind, body & soul.
The first big area that we should concentrate upon is mind & man starts to grow naturally in this particular area from his early childhood. In fact he grows best when he is young & has not achieved much. The problem begins when he starts thinking that he has learnt enough to pass rest of his life easily & he exactly does that- he only passes his life. Another difference between a child & a grown up man is that while a child's learning is multidimensional, a man's growth is uni-dimensional. He learns only in the area of his work & cuts himself off from rest of the areas. There is nothing wrong in specializing in one particular field, but limiting oneself only to that field will limit one's achievements only to that area. 
Second important area to grow is in the body which surely doesn't mean to become stronger or to live longer. It only means to lead a healthy & disease free life as long as one lives. It is funny that to gain material pursuits we compromise with our health & to regain the same level of health that we had before the compromise, we are ready to let go of all our wealth, but in vain. Most of us settle for a diamond-studded wheel chair! Not getting time for exercise is like not getting time to get your tank filled when you know your vehicle will run out of petrol sooner than later.
"Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness."- Edward Stanley
The third and the most important area to grow is soul. Surprisingly, we don't have to do anything extraordinary to achieve growth in this area. If we learn to live simply without making much efforts, we will grow. If we have to learn something, it is stillness of mind not the speed. 
"To understand the immeasurable, the mind must be extraordinarily quiet, still. 
                                                                                                                  - Jiddu Krishnamurti
The only objective of meditation is being quiet, being still & being in peace with self. Instead of pushing for life, let the life come slowly; let each moment approach you as if it were made only for you & immerse yourself into it.  
In order to live an abundant life, it is important that we channelize all our energy to grow in these areas & the rest of our life will take care of itself.

Once Is Enough

The tragedy of life is not that we get only one life to live but that we don't know how to live that one life. For the benefit of understanding, we can divide the purpose of our life into three sections- learning, earning & yearning. If we understand these three, and try to live accordingly, one life is more than enough. 

The first step is learning; but the big question is what & how to learn. We learn what we are taught-by our parents,our peer group, our teachers & by other varied sources. Initially, we adopt this learning only as an idea but when we are taught the same thing again & again & we don't question these ideas, they are converted into beliefs. And once they are converted into beliefs, they are difficult to go. So, if we are taught a particular religion, we accept it & by & by it becomes an integral part of our existence. But if we are also taught that our religion is the best one & all other religions are sham, we would accept this too as a belief & would start practicing the same. The vital aspect of any learning is questioning, reasoning & then establishing our own beliefs. If we are taught to question our set beliefs & find the answers ourselves we would have learned in every sense of the word.

The second step of living truly is earning & we are not good at that. We learn what to earn from our needs. A child wants to earn knowledge, love, compassion & freedom. But as we grow up, we learn to earn everything that fulfills our basic needs & then earn to become financially independent. But our wants don't stop there; we crave for more- if I have a house, I need a bigger one & if I get that, I need one more & won't mind if it keeps adding. Same thinking goes for our car, for bank balance & for other materialistic pursuits. And this greed engulfs us so much that we forget we are buying these at the cost of living. Richard Bach expressed it succinctly when he said, 

                       "Shop for security over happiness, and you buy it at that price."

Earn financial independence but never at the cost of happiness, love & compassion for self & for all the people connected to you.

The third aspect is yearning; yearning for a quality life, for a peaceful coexistence, for living every moment of this life. But ironically, either we desire for the life we have lived or for another life, forgetting that while we were wishing so, another moment of this 'only one life' flitted by. We would live truly if we learn to live in 'now' not in 'years', to count moments not months.

" Butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough." - Rabindra Nath Tagore.

The important thing is not how many years we live but how many moments we make out of those years. Years are good to count but moments are where the life is lived. Years can be gauged from outside but to live the moments we have to dig in & the more we dig in, the richer we become. 

Smile A While

Most of our emotions precede certain reactions by our body. For example, when we are angry, we scowl at people; when sad; we tend to go into depression. Similarly, when we are happy, we laugh or smile a lot. But, the opposite of same is also true; many of our actions lead to varied emotions. Don't believe it? Do the following exercise for firsthand experience- if you are in a good mood & having a good time, just drop your shoulders & put your hands on your forehead as if something bad is about to take place. Think of something that gave you a lot of pain & observe what happens. Your body will read the action & will command your mind to change the emotion. All of a sudden, you start going into depression and a mood of melancholy descends on you in no time. This further reminds you of more such incidents of past & a vicious cycle sets in.

Thoughts play an important role in setting the tone for the day. But, the problem with thoughts is that they are difficult to control as a large number of thoughts pass through our mind daily. So, what is the alternative? Control your emotions by controlling your actions. Observe the posture of your body when you are angry. Is it a relaxed posture or a tight one? Of course, your body is in an upright posture; your heart beat is more than normal & if you are speaking, your pitch is high. Now, do the opposite- sit down, take a deep breath & try to divert your attention away from the matter that is making you angry. If possible, listen to some soothing song or play with your pet & try to smile. You will definitely feel some change in a positive direction. While you cannot change the situation that is making you angry, you can surely bring a change in your actions & thus, in your emotions.
A smile radiates positive energy, spreads joy & creates the atmosphere of possibilities. It not only livens up the person who smiles but also all around him as it is highly infectious. It is a message of goodwill to the other person.
"A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside."
                                                                                                                                           - Denis Waitley 
Don’t smile only when you are happy; try to smile to make yourself happy even in a gloomy environment. It can be the source of your permanent joy. In fact, you need it more in depressing time than in a jovial mood. This curve will certainly set a lot of things straight! 

Flight Of Imagination

The most important faculty of a man is his imaginative faculty. As a child it is at its best but decays as he grows up. During his formative years the child tends to question the absence of anything that he can imagine but does not find around him. But, when he grows up, two vital changes take place- one, his power of imagination takes a back seat & secondly, he becomes skeptic even about things that he sees around himself. He questions every new idea that is mooted to solve any old problem and downplays anything that seems out of the box.

The root cause of all the trouble is not the man but men- men around him. Man is not a skeptic by birth. But every time he floats a new idea it is taken as a breach of the pattern &, thus not accepted by people. But he keeps imagining his way into the unknown. And the world keeps throwing its tantrums, rejecting the idea on one pretext or another. By and by, he starts thinking that the world is all fine; he is an aberration. And this is the beginning of the end of his imaginative prowess.

The all important question is how some gifted souls manage to counter the onslaught of skeptics and refuse to get adjusted to the easy way of thinking ‘simple & straight.’ The answer is that they consider themselves to be gifted & not an ordinary soul & they remain so till the end.

The early sign of a man getting into the trap of ‘easy & plain’ thinking is that he moves from ‘why not’ mode to ‘why’ mode. Initially, he finds it difficult to adjust to the newly-found world of skeptics but once he gets there he finds it very comforting & snuggles up to it for whole life to lead a limited existence. So, the secret to a blessed & meaningful life is to question what is not around & enjoy what is present. Then only, we will truly be living in the present & preparing for the future.

The secret of making impossible looking things possible is to see these taking place in your mind. Everything comes in this world twice- first it takes shape in your mind & then in your outer world. When we reject any wild-looking idea as 'not possible', we reject the possibility of its taking shape in real world. The fact is most of the ideas that have materialized were wild once; but not to the people who were instrumental in making these ideas real. They refused to accept the impossibility though the whole world was against them. They saw the idea taking shape not once but many times in their mind. While world thought them to be eccentric, they thought the same for the world.

                               "Everything you can imagine is real."- Pablo Piccaso

So, the next time you imagine something which seems not doable, think again & ask, "why not?" & give it a try. 

Surrendering To Love

Man is an emotional animal. With so much of chaos around us, love has become an indispensable emotion. But, there are some prerequisites to love someone. Not that you would require these traits in you if you love someone, but it will surface from nowhere & you would surprise yourself. 

When you love someone, you surrender yourself to that person. The first thing that you surrender is your ego. Ego is one emotion that separates us from animals. Human beings have this in plenty & as they grow up, they accumulate it as a prized possession. Ego is just opposite of love. Once ego builds a covering around us, we become inaccessible to any form of love. And since we don't feel the compassion of others, we fail to express it as well. So, the first step of loving a person is to shed the ego.

The next thing to remember is that you don't love someone for any reason. You don't love someone because he or she is young or beautiful, smart or intelligent, rich or powerful; you just love him or her for being what the person is. You love the person, not the trait in him. Love between two persons doesn't die or become less intense as they grow old. On the contrary, if they are truly in love, it will only get more intense. If love has diminished, it only indicates you loved not the person, but something that he had, and that something has diminished with the passage of time.

Love doesn't demand anything. It only knows giving & doesn't expect anything in return. Unrequited love is a misnomer as love doesn't require the return of favor from another person. But there are few things that happen on their own when you are in love. It gives you strength & increases your self-worth as you feel wanted. But, to have a good self-esteem you don't need to love others or get loved; just start loving yourself as you are & you will increase your self-worth.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu 

When you are in love, the things which look insignificant to others mean a lot to you & things which mean a world to others become insignificant to you. So, while others are busy building castles, people in love are living their dream. While others are planning about years ahead, they are living their moments. Even a stroll in the park with your partner becomes so valuable that you treasure it for whole of your life. When you have love of your life around you, even simple things become special. Things which never interested you become special because it means so much to your partner.

When such things happen in your life, you can be sure that you have got someone that you can't live without. Celebrate as you are truly in love!      

Live In Moments, Not In Years

There are many ways to live life but two very good ones to live it to the fullest are-

1- From the perspective of time it should be lived in moments not in years.

2-From the perspective of things it should be lived observing the minute details of things of beauty around you.

Many people don't even realize that they pass their lifetime without even knowing what they are doing. They are always complaining about paucity of time. Actually, they are right to some extent because time really moves fast if the life is lived in days & years. On the other hand when life is lived in moments, the time stands still & waits for the person until he has enjoyed that moment to the fullest. The moment only cares for the person who cares for it.
                     "The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."
                                                                                                           -Rabindranath Tagore
 The fact is that for most of the people moment is the least important unit of time & that is why moments fly past them & so do days, years & a lifetime. The important thing to remember is that life can only be lived in moments; in years it can only be passed. And by the time we realize that, it is  already too late. The common regret of people at the end of their life is that they could not enjoy life the way they were supposed to. If asked to replay the best part of their life, they would surely replay some wonderful moments; not years. We don't remember years; we remember only moments- isn't it a big enough proof to justify this point? 

Another way of living the life is by observing the fine details of the creations of God. The blade of grass holds the whole universe on its tip, only if we stand & stare. The magic is in the obvious not in the hidden. But we pass our whole life collecting the toys & ignoring the art of the Supreme Painter. One reason why we miss the obvious is that we think there is something which is outside our purview. We forget that we are the best creation of God & are entitled to admire all His creations. 

 The life has no meaning if we don't have moments to stand & stare this abundant supply of beauty spread all around us. Observe the minutest of details of things of beauty & enjoy the vastness of universe, or else, regret  not doing so at the end of your life.

Respect Your Individuality

The most important possession for any individual is his individuality. You may look like someone or behave like someone but you cannot be him. You remain what you are meant to be. There are physiological, cognitive & behavioral changes in us as we grow up but these changes lead us only to our true being; not to make us like someone else. This is also not to deny the fact that environmental influences affect us to shape our being but from within we remain as pure & original as God wants us to be.

So, what is that stops you from being someone else? It is not your thoughts or your feelings; it is your soul. Your soul is the real you. It not only guards you from external influences but also guides you towards your calling. It connects you to your purpose. The trouble starts when the soul starts getting polluted. When you don't listen to its voice & allow it to wander. When the noise outside muffles your inner voice, you lose your individuality. Many people experience death twice. Their first experience is when they allow their soul to die & after this living becomes meaningless. But the positive aspect of this fact is that while a dead body cannot be revived, a soul can be revived. It can be made as pure as it was in the beginning. 

A child has the purest soul because he enjoys being himself. He doesn't care what others look like or what they think about him. But as he grows up he becomes conscious about people around him. He doesn't want to be like someone; he likes to be that someone. And here the struggle begins. He stops listening to his inner voice. There is nothing wrong to be like someone or to follow an individual. But one should allow one's soul to guide him whether he is walking towards his purpose or just imitating someone. 

Our whole emphasis should be to get that one point that makes us different from others. And that point is our spark which will take us to our goal. Once we understand it we should devote rest of our life to sharpen it, to make it better & to be as different as possible from others in this aspect of our personality. Henry Ford termed it as 'our real claim to importance'. 

"All Fords are exactly alike; but no two men are just alike. Every new life is a new thing under the sun; there has never been anything just like it before, never will be again. A young man ought to get that idea about himself; he should look for the single spark of individuality that makes him different from other folks, and develop that for all he is worth. Society & schools may try to iron it out of him; their tendency is to put it all in the same mold, but i say don't let that spark be lost; it is your only real claim to importance." - Henry Ford. 
One thing that you should hold close to your heart is your individuality. Respect it at all cost. 

Control Self, Not Others

Who is closest to you? Your spouse; your parents; siblings or some friend of yours? Wrong. You are the one who is closest to you & quite often, the most ignored one. We spend much of our time dealing & controlling others. So much so that we don't get any time understanding the self. And this is the reason for most of our frustration, troubles & misunderstanding.

When we try to control others, we are dependent on the response of others. If we get a positive response, we feel the power. We feel as if we have won the person. But to control him, we have to use all our resources, methods & strategies. At times, in spite of making a lot of efforts, we fail in our endeavor & that brings negative feelings like frustration, hatred & jealousy for others. So, it is a myth that by controlling others we become powerful; on the contrary, we yield most of our power to others. Another point to be noticed is that control over others is transient in nature as it is dependent on external factors. As these external factors change, we lose the control & feel frustrated.

Control over self is more important. It is not only permanent, but also more satisfying. If it is that important, why do we look outward most of the time? The reason is we develop the understanding that the world exist outside us; people, issues, relationships all appear to exist outside. True, but that is not your world. That is the outer world & you are least concerned with it as far as your life is concerned. They exist not to be controlled but to be loved. Period.

The interesting part is that once you gain control over self, other controls look quite hollow & you don't bother about these. And all the struggle, frustration & misunderstanding give way to love & contentment.

Forgive & Give

When we live with people, differences are bound to crop up. These differences are the proofs that we are gifted with ability to think differently. We should learn to celebrate these differences & respect the opinions of others. While we should exercise our freedom of choice, we should also learn to be tolerant to the opinions of others, howsoever ridiculous these may sound. Chances are your opinion would also sound as bizarre to the other person as his view sounds to you. Give others a chance to express what they have got to say. 

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

                                                                                                                                         - Voltaire

Many a time, people may hurt you by making a comment about you or by doing something that you don't approve of. Don't take it to heart; don't take it personally. It is not his view about you; it is his view about himself. Forgive him & move on. When you become vindictive you try to gather all kinds of weapons to slay the views of the person who took an antagonistic stand. And the weight of those weapons stops you to move any further in your life. You get stuck at the place where you decided to take revenge. The funny part of this battle is that another person might not be aware of what's going on in your mind & he remains as light as he was before the misunderstanding. He remains out of bound because he is moving swiftly unaware of your intentions.

We may also displease others on a non-issue on a day-to-day basis; in fact, we don't displease others, we displease ourselves. Man is an emotional animal & these emotions are wired to emotions of people living around him. So, we can't escape pain if we hurt others. Our mood is not an independent entity. It depends largely on the atmosphere that we live in which is created by our own behavior towards others. When we displease someone, we lay the foundation for a bad mood for ourselves.

The next time when you go to pray, forgive everyone who has hurt you. Not only forgive them, but also give thanks for providing you with a chance to test your tolerance. Remember, no one can hurt you against your wish.   

Using Pain & Pleasure

Our life is a series of pain & pleasure. A child encounters pain & pleasure both, the moment he enters this world. Though a mother knows that she will have to go through excruciating pain before experiencing eternal pleasure of having her baby, yet she looks forward to the occasion. It is because she is not thinking about the pain; she is only concentrating on the joy of having her child. Our life is entirely dependent on the way we use pain & pleasure in our life. We fail because we overreact to our pleasure & pain. We falter in life when we let these emotions rule us. We can't wish them away but we can surely use them to our advantage. 

We should know the way to define pleasure & pain in our life. One of the reasons that people fail in life is that they accept failure quite easily. If you associate your failure to a lot of pain, you would never accept failure. Why do we find it hard to get rid of a bad habit?- simply because we only think about the momentary pleasure it gives. Every time we repeat the activity, we feel good despite the fact that it harms us in the long run. But, we don't feel the pain that it would give us after few years. 

The secret of getting rid of any bad habit is to reverse your emotions about it. Associate a lot of pain with this habit. Think about the ill-effect of the same, every time you repeat the action. Make a picture of the pain & make it large. Feel as if it were happening right now. If you are a smoker & want to do away with this habit, think of its effect every time you take the puff. See the smoke going into your lungs, eating it slowly. Picture yourself coughing badly & unable to walk. You visit a doctor who advises you to give up smoking immediately or face the repercussions. You realize it's now or never.

Similarly, if you associate extreme pleasure to any good habit, you will adopt this habit as an integral part of your life. Do you have trouble getting up early & exercising? Picture yourself a healthy man who gets up with the lark. You go for a long jog daily & feel energetic. You have full control of your body, mind & soul. You are living life to the fullest & enjoying every moment of the same. Life is bliss for you because of your habit of getting up early & exercising.  

Pain & pleasure are nothing but mediums to write the story of your life. It depends on you how you interpret these & use these to your advantage.

Walking With A Friend

People choose friends for different reasons; some choose them just to have fun, to unwind; some other do so because they need someone to speak their heart out & a great number of people choose them so that they get the required help. Being with your BFF gives you such a high that, at times, they even get priority over other family members. What are the reasons that make you get so close to a friend?

"A friend is one that knows as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." - William Shakespeare.

You need someone you can be yourself with- and that place is always reserved for a friend as he doesn't demand you to be anything other than what you are. He has no conditions attached in accepting you as a whole. He knows you through & through because he has seen you at your best & worst. No doubt, he wants you to grow but not at the cost of your self-esteem which can be the case with most other relationships.

           "A friend is someone who knows all about you & still loves you." - Elbert Hubbard

Another reason that you want to be with your friend is that you feel a strange,unexplained connectivity with your pal. One of the scariest thought in life is being alone. But, if you have a friend to bank upon, you don't feel lonely. He might be miles away but just the fact that he would appear in case of need provides you much needed succor. Another important point is that if you have a reliable friend, you feel wanted; having a good friend automatically increases your self-esteem. An individual who has lost much of his self-worth needs a loyal company more than anyone else. One of the common factors found in people who committed suicide was that they lacked a close friend; they were lonely & introvert. In such a situation, the importance of a friend cannot be overstated; a true friend works as a life-support system.

Lastly, a true friend mitigates much of the fear that a person might have in doing something enterprising. Just by sharing, half of the fears vanish into thin air & the rest half take care of themselves. A true friend leads you to light. Many a time, without a friend you might have a false impression that you are standing in the light; the fact may be that you are staring in the dark & need the company of a reliable friend. Walking with a friend is the feeling that cannot be achieved by any other act. You trust him so much that you don't mind venturing in the dark; you know that the light is not far away when a true friend is so close!